Kuntar, let me first say this: I think you have the women of the CIJ
confused... With your mother, that is.

Your grievances against the women of the CIJ (hence forth known as the
Pissy Mistress Soldiers, or P.M.S.) have been thoroughly reviewed by our
(naturally) all-female committee, and we have unanimously decided the
following:

~ We WILL be contributing a sizable amount of gold to Sapience's
Committee For The Welfare of Bastard Children. Our contribution will
fund their Father Hunt Project, which, we have heard involves manticores
trained to target the genitals of run-away fathers. (Anyone interested
in the Father Hunt Project, please contact Amunet)

~ A considerable portion of male CIJians are completely inept at love,
in ALL of its forms. (We realise that part of this stems from a lack of
women who are totally devoid of the five senses, which brings about our
next point)

~ Your aversion to bathing is a lot like our love of shoes - inherent
and strong. However, unlike your aversion to bathing, our love of shoes
isn't unhealthy, and doesn't breed maggots.

We conclude with a bit of advice: Stick with dogs. They can handle your
smell (they might even like it) and are wonderfully obedient. They'll go
to any room of the house you instruct them to- yes, even the kitchen.
Plus, when they get mad at you, instead of symbolically cutting out the
front of your trousers, they simply pee next to your side of the bed,
equally symbolic, but cheaper to fix.

Now, the Pissy Mistress Soldiers are off to our numerous positions of
power and another round of shopping.



With sympathy for your cursed gender,
Ata Eruu'Yul

Penned by my hand on the 21st of Lupar, in the year 472 AF.