We, the Men of the Carnivalis Institute of Jestering (forthwith referred
to as men) have a number of grievances against the Women of the
Carnivalis Institute of Jestering (forthwith referred to as women).

Whereupon;
The women have been seen far too often in places that are not the
kitchen, not making dinner by the time we get home.

The women have been far too flirty and not nearly giving enough, thereby
causing Tightnessinpants Syndrome.

The women have been uppity once too often, clearly forgetting that women
should be seen and not heard.

The women have been seen trying to install themselves into positions of
power, forgetting that men wear the pants in the upper eschelons of
house power.

The women still have not cleaned up that mess on the carpet we made last
week. It's not going to clean itself up!

The women have forgotten yet again to put out the duckies, resulting in
quite a few nasty messes in the househall, thereby resulting in
incidents such as the preceding.

The women have been going out too many times a week and spending all of
our hard ratted and fished for gold, buying useless things such as
shoes. YOU ALREADY HAVE THREE PERFECTLY GOOD PAIRS, TWO OF THEM ARE
WATERWALKING.

All of the preceding points withstanding, the men have declared a state
of OPEN GENDER WARFARE in the Carnivalis Institute of Jestering. Insults
will be flung, clothes will be ruined, and that dress WILL make you look
fat. May the best MAN win.

-Kuntar "SAL Kissy Pants" Semshan, Man-At-Arms.

Penned by my hand on the 17th of Lupar, in the year 472 AF.