Let me first begin by saying to everyone who is expressing wonderment at
my demeanor, you are obviously being affected by the same Grook nerve
drug that is affecting so many others in Sapience.

You have all known of our conquest. You were idiots to not have tried to
stop us sooner.

It brings me great joy to inform Sapience that the Tsol'teth are rising.
A tactical officer might chastise me for announcing this so plainly to
the contintent, claiming that you, the mortal rats of Achaea, will be
prepared.

Sharpen your swords. Prepare your war machines. Train your soldiers.
Brace yourselves.

And you will _still_ not be prepared.

The onslaught about to ravage Sapience will deliver carnage the likes of
which you could not possibly imagine.

Anyone who wishes to join to further the glory of the Tsol'teth will be
reviewed be me. Anyone who wishes to join to save their hides will have
their soul torn from their bodies with extra-special brutality. Anyone
who wishes to willingly submit to the Tsol'teth will be gauranteed a
cushy spot in the slave camps, perhaps beginning the construction of the
monstrous statue in my likeness that will stare with eternal vigilance
over the wasteland I am about to create.

Mortals-you are worms. Your future has arrived. Meet it well.

Shub Niggurath, Supreme Overlord of the Tsol'teth Rising

Penned by my hand on the 4th of Mayan, in the year 287 AF.