Sarapis may have you believe that i'm a rabid criminal but it's simply not
true. I may have... Duplicated some of the coinage of the land, but who
do you think put me up to it? I'm the innoncent party here, I don't want
to perform criminal acts, but Sarapis makes me.

You see he's been blackmailing me, he's got..... Pictures. Pictures of me
and.....Flossy The Sheep. He's the criminal mastermind here, he's the true
kingpin of Achaea, there's isn't a single crime which goes down here
without his approval! So citizens of Achaea, i ask you please not to judge
me for my weakness, i mean ONE mistake and look where it got me. Sarapis
is the guilty party here and he is merely manipulating the facts so that
Everybody blames me for his unsavoury acts.

Your Truthfully Honest Guvnor, Would I lie to you?

Sir Harlequin The Kind(But you can call me 'Yeah Right')
Penned by my hand on the 19th of Chronos, in the year 173.