Sigh again.....
Having only begun to recover from my pain at the loss of my dear
beloved buffalo, I decided to go about filling the void in my heart
with material goods. After the slaying of a suitable number of rats
to foot the bill, I headed for the marketplace to see what I would
buy... Due to the generosity of several different people, most of my
wardrobe was gifts to me and due to a slight error, it didn't count
towards the alteration of my natural nakedness. (In other words,
although I was wearing a complete outfit, STATUS kept telling me that
I was practically naked.) So anyway, I headed for the clothing area
When I was there I bought two hats, one a cool-ass cowboy hat, the
other being some sort of queer little bright-yellow beanie that I'd
bought by mistake... I donned my favoured of the two and tryed to drop
the other... Unfortunately it kept trying to drop the wrong one..
So I figured I'd ditch my fave and find somewhere to dispose of the
ugly little beanie. I needed to put the better somewhere it wouldn't
be molested while I searched for a suitable fate for the yellow
piece of crap. I immediately set off of Epicurus's house and hid it
in the bedroom. Now I thought that I was on good terms with ol'
Epi, as I used to call him. We'd kicked back together and watched
some of the Empire's little fighting bouts scheduled earlier that
day. So after stashing my stuff like a pothead running from the
narcs, I walked over to near Epi and tossed the hat on the ground,
figuring that it would be picked up by some needful traveler that
happened by there. But that wouldn't happen, Epi, that old dirty
bastard, snatched that thing up like lightning. Shocked at the
display of kleptomania that he'd just put on, I ran back to Epi's
bedroom and grabbed my hat, posthaste. After assuring myself that
the thieving old man hadn't mooched my cool-ass cowboy hat, I
headed on back to him, because we had some issues that needed
settled...
Ok, so I walk in and there's Epi, serene as ever, as if I hadn't
seen his act of wanton thievery. Here he is, a rich old man, and
that hat could have been worn by one of the city's many bedraggled
ragamuffins (although if I saw an Occultist wearing a beanie soon
after that, I would have been highly suspicious....). Obviously
Epicurus needed to deal with his kleptomania. I sauntered bravely
up to the old man, angered by his unruffled expression. I knew he
had to be in denial. Feeling that our friendship could bear the
burden, I told him outright that he was a beanie-thieving bastard.
There was no response from Epicurus at all. I was irate, and perhaps
a little too much so. So I spat in his face.... and before you
could say "bright-yellow beanie" the old man pulled off an
overhead chop that decimated my skull and left my brains somewhere
in the region of my genitalia (No, they did not start out there).
Needless to say, I was almost to shocked to pray.
So here I am, fresh from the Cave, writing this missive. I just
want to warn others about Epi's temper and to say -- Epi, we
were good chums, and we shouldn't let this little spat come
between us. I don't want the beanie back and I don't need to
talk to you about your obvious problem with kleptomania and the
anger you feel when asked to deal with it. I just want us to
have that ol' teacher-pupil relationship we used to.
have that ol' teacher-pupil relationship we used to.


PS. -- Has anyone seen my buffalo around??


El Benito, the Unfortunate (but now with subtitles!!)
Penned by my hand on the 25th of Ero, in the year 185 AF.