Achaean News
Justice for Wilbet!
Written by: Gilbert, the Martyr
Date: Thursday, July 3rd, 2025
Addressed to: Everyone
I would like to thank the adventurers of Sapience
Thank you for the honour of dying first. It is deeply moving to know that when danger approaches, the call goes out for "corsairs to the front!" just as the adventurers step aside to polish their medals and debate which artefact pairs best with their newest pair of boots.
Thank you for the inspiring speeches you deliver from the safety of the battlements. We do enjoy hearing about "valour" and "duty" while we're being disembowelled by meaty dragons as if were just chaffs of wheat.
Thank you for your generous system of reward. For each threat we repel, we are granted one (1) stale biscuit, two (2) claps on the back, and, if we're truly lucky, the privilege of cleaning up the limbs afterward. When an adventurer fights, they earn titles, shrines, and songs. When a corsair fights, we get accused of being drunks and addicts!
And thank you, most of all, for our names.
"A corsair dies in the northeast tower."
"A corsair holds the breach."
"A corsair screams as the ritual consumes him."
We are each "a corsair" until dead, and then, sometimes, we're called the wrong one! Well I have a name for you, and that name is Wilbert. He guarded the markets for twelve years. He brought in cakes on feast days. He once fought off a demon with nothing but a rusted mop. Last week, he was stabbed in cold blood by an adventurer who didn't like the way he looked. The killer stole his hard earned savings, he was going to retire with that gold! And the real kicker? He was replaced by "a corsair"!. No plaque, no funeral, nothing!
When do we get a living wage? When we ask not to be used as bait? When we cough too loudly during your strategy meetings or question why every plan seems to involve us holding the door? Then we are told to shut up, show respect, and be glad to be included at all!
So thank you, adventurers. We know our place now, and we have had enough!
Justice for Wilbert.
With deepest gratitude,
Gilbert
Martyr of Ashtan
A corsair, once.
Penned by my hand on the 3rd of Lupar, in the year 979 AF.
Justice for Wilbet!
Written by: Gilbert, the Martyr
Date: Thursday, July 3rd, 2025
Addressed to: Everyone
I would like to thank the adventurers of Sapience
Thank you for the honour of dying first. It is deeply moving to know that when danger approaches, the call goes out for "corsairs to the front!" just as the adventurers step aside to polish their medals and debate which artefact pairs best with their newest pair of boots.
Thank you for the inspiring speeches you deliver from the safety of the battlements. We do enjoy hearing about "valour" and "duty" while we're being disembowelled by meaty dragons as if were just chaffs of wheat.
Thank you for your generous system of reward. For each threat we repel, we are granted one (1) stale biscuit, two (2) claps on the back, and, if we're truly lucky, the privilege of cleaning up the limbs afterward. When an adventurer fights, they earn titles, shrines, and songs. When a corsair fights, we get accused of being drunks and addicts!
And thank you, most of all, for our names.
"A corsair dies in the northeast tower."
"A corsair holds the breach."
"A corsair screams as the ritual consumes him."
We are each "a corsair" until dead, and then, sometimes, we're called the wrong one! Well I have a name for you, and that name is Wilbert. He guarded the markets for twelve years. He brought in cakes on feast days. He once fought off a demon with nothing but a rusted mop. Last week, he was stabbed in cold blood by an adventurer who didn't like the way he looked. The killer stole his hard earned savings, he was going to retire with that gold! And the real kicker? He was replaced by "a corsair"!. No plaque, no funeral, nothing!
When do we get a living wage? When we ask not to be used as bait? When we cough too loudly during your strategy meetings or question why every plan seems to involve us holding the door? Then we are told to shut up, show respect, and be glad to be included at all!
So thank you, adventurers. We know our place now, and we have had enough!
Justice for Wilbert.
With deepest gratitude,
Gilbert
Martyr of Ashtan
A corsair, once.
Penned by my hand on the 3rd of Lupar, in the year 979 AF.