This day, I bring glad tidings to Sapience.


The Goddess Ulvin, She of the Aureate Maw, of Undecided Tenets and Questionable Morality, One Who Might Secretly Be Pandora, has graced me with priesthood. She has tasked me with bringing Ulvinism to the masses, and thus, I do.

Praise be to Lady Ulvin, She who graces Ashtan with Her wisdom and grace. Parent of Abysal Mimeslayer, Husband of Tsia Lucky To Be Married to Ulvin, Her very presence brings us joy and no small amount of interesting things going on. Those of you from outside Ashtan should be so lucky as to have Her in your immediate area from time to time, perhaps in passing as She shops for various and sundry things.

Those of you who are jealous of my position in Her shadow need not be! I will tell you what I know of Her, and you may judge for yourself how amazing Her patronage might be to you.


She has no shrines at this time, nor need for mortals grovelling at Her. If you wish to make an offering to the Goddess Ulvin to show your devotion, you may simply drop the corpses at Her feet. Preferably in alphabetical order. The paperwork is easier that way.


There are some heretics who accuse Her of being a grook in disguise. This is not so, and things which are moist, like a grook, are repugnant to Her. It's just a weird word, and gives me the willies. There are some who even question whether She is a goddess at all. Frankly, I'm not looking in Her armor to check. Anyone with intelligence can check Her honors to see that She is in fact a goddess.


Her favorite colours are aubergine, puce, and coquelicot. Those of you who wish to create things in Her image should primarily use those colours.


If you have any questions about Her worship, you may contact me by signed mail. A bottle of rum included in the letter will move it to the front of the queue.

In Her Name;

Thrall Dokatas, Preacher of Ulvinism

Penned by my hand on the 11th of Phaestian, in the year 978 AF.