Achaean News

Previous Article | Back to News Summary | Next Article
Public News Post #21569

Good job, little buddy!

Written by: Grandue Xeh'ria, Keeper of the Iron Crown
Date: Friday, April 28th, 2023
Addressed to: Tenderfoot Elyon Wineapple



Dear Tenderfoot,

I'll share with you a story to help you understand. When my children were young they would colour little pictures, as children do. They were terrible artists, understandably. The proportions were all off, especially people. The figures in their drawings always had extremely long legs and arms and tiny little torsos and heads. This puzzled me until I found myself playing on the ground with one of them and their mother walked into the room and I saw her from their perspective. From a child's vantage, her legs (being closer to them) seemed to go on for ages and her torso and head (being father away from them) seemed small in comparison.

You, being of a child's perspective of reality, understandably view things with a juvenile comprehension. However, it isn't terrible pictures you are drawing, but conclusions.

Young man, is this another one of your infamous tantrums disguised as scholarly work? We all remember your last childish fit, throwing yourself into Ugrach's embrace over and over and over again when you couldn't get your way. And those of us who matter remember the one before that when you were shoved from our walls for acting too Elyonish toward other citizens of the Seat of Chaos. You may, no doubt, claim it was being thrown out on your head that has caused such damage to your delicate thinker, but it would be rude of me to not tell you that you've always had this condition.

You've answered your own questions. Let me help you see the answers hidden within your own post:

"Firstly, I am led to believe..."
"Now this by itself makes sense [to me]..."
"Here is the bit I do not understand..."
"I would go so far to say..."
"Firstly, I am intrigued as to why..." (a second 'firstly'?)
"Secondly, I am intrigued as to why..."
"I'm not so sure that..."
"This intrigued me so much that I..."
"In fact, I have no idea..."
"I really would love to know..."
"I couldn't see much..."

The answer is simple: you're an idiot with a child's understanding of history and reality. Any scholarly work in which you are involved in any of the thinking is doomed to result in a writhing mass of confusion.

The little lambs in the East, with their legendary blindness, understand the relationship between Ashtan and the Chaos Court better than you do, and you used to live here!

The Supreme Pontiff of the Outer Planes wasn't just 'maybe' a Darkwalker. He most certainly was a Darkwalker, this is well documented and widely known. He left in order to pursue knowledge that Twilight forbid them to know, knowledge which led him into the desert. The rest of that famous story is also well known: the founding of the Revolutionaries, the uncovering of secret knowledge, the freeing of Lord Babel, and so on.

I would be a fool to think it possible you may be trained to comprehend these things, so I will not attempt to teach you reality. It is a mercy to allow you to keep on believing that we strive to end the world and that we're subservient to the Chaos Court and that the Prophet has been a Darkwalker this whole time and that there are two groups in Ashtan who oppose one another.

I'll comfort you with the same comfort I gave my children all those years ago:

"Elyon! You are so talented, look at how beautifully you've drawn these conclusions. I love the colours you've chosen. Someday you're going to be a famous scholar if you keep up the good work. I'm so pleased with you, little buddy."


Your proud father,

[X] Grandue Xeh'ria, Keeper of the Iron Crown

[A small octagon encircles a raised "II" here, inscribed in thick, amethyst ink]

Penned by my hand on the 18th of Glacian, in the year 915 AF.


Previous Article | Back to News Summary | Next Article
Previous | Summary | Next
Public News Post #21569

Good job, little buddy!

Written by: Grandue Xeh'ria, Keeper of the Iron Crown
Date: Friday, April 28th, 2023
Addressed to: Tenderfoot Elyon Wineapple



Dear Tenderfoot,

I'll share with you a story to help you understand. When my children were young they would colour little pictures, as children do. They were terrible artists, understandably. The proportions were all off, especially people. The figures in their drawings always had extremely long legs and arms and tiny little torsos and heads. This puzzled me until I found myself playing on the ground with one of them and their mother walked into the room and I saw her from their perspective. From a child's vantage, her legs (being closer to them) seemed to go on for ages and her torso and head (being father away from them) seemed small in comparison.

You, being of a child's perspective of reality, understandably view things with a juvenile comprehension. However, it isn't terrible pictures you are drawing, but conclusions.

Young man, is this another one of your infamous tantrums disguised as scholarly work? We all remember your last childish fit, throwing yourself into Ugrach's embrace over and over and over again when you couldn't get your way. And those of us who matter remember the one before that when you were shoved from our walls for acting too Elyonish toward other citizens of the Seat of Chaos. You may, no doubt, claim it was being thrown out on your head that has caused such damage to your delicate thinker, but it would be rude of me to not tell you that you've always had this condition.

You've answered your own questions. Let me help you see the answers hidden within your own post:

"Firstly, I am led to believe..."
"Now this by itself makes sense [to me]..."
"Here is the bit I do not understand..."
"I would go so far to say..."
"Firstly, I am intrigued as to why..." (a second 'firstly'?)
"Secondly, I am intrigued as to why..."
"I'm not so sure that..."
"This intrigued me so much that I..."
"In fact, I have no idea..."
"I really would love to know..."
"I couldn't see much..."

The answer is simple: you're an idiot with a child's understanding of history and reality. Any scholarly work in which you are involved in any of the thinking is doomed to result in a writhing mass of confusion.

The little lambs in the East, with their legendary blindness, understand the relationship between Ashtan and the Chaos Court better than you do, and you used to live here!

The Supreme Pontiff of the Outer Planes wasn't just 'maybe' a Darkwalker. He most certainly was a Darkwalker, this is well documented and widely known. He left in order to pursue knowledge that Twilight forbid them to know, knowledge which led him into the desert. The rest of that famous story is also well known: the founding of the Revolutionaries, the uncovering of secret knowledge, the freeing of Lord Babel, and so on.

I would be a fool to think it possible you may be trained to comprehend these things, so I will not attempt to teach you reality. It is a mercy to allow you to keep on believing that we strive to end the world and that we're subservient to the Chaos Court and that the Prophet has been a Darkwalker this whole time and that there are two groups in Ashtan who oppose one another.

I'll comfort you with the same comfort I gave my children all those years ago:

"Elyon! You are so talented, look at how beautifully you've drawn these conclusions. I love the colours you've chosen. Someday you're going to be a famous scholar if you keep up the good work. I'm so pleased with you, little buddy."


Your proud father,

[X] Grandue Xeh'ria, Keeper of the Iron Crown

[A small octagon encircles a raised "II" here, inscribed in thick, amethyst ink]

Penned by my hand on the 18th of Glacian, in the year 915 AF.


Previous | Summary | Next