I'll keep this short.

It has been brought to my attention that I apparently had, or needed,
help in ransacking your monastery.

In response to this I issue the following public statement:

The ransacking of your monastery was done by me and me alone. You may
need to work in numbers to stand even the smallest chance in besting me;
however, when it comes to the security of your monastery, your
ineptitude was so great yet again that it took but a lone clown to make
fools of you all.

By the way, in case you were wondering, I look absolutely stunning in my
nondecaying Deshi and Kohai robes while chowing down on your thousands
of herbs!

Penned by my hand on the 19th of Sarapin, in the year 575 AF.