Adalie,

I call it a "comment" however should you choose to view the following as
a chastisement, I do not mind and that may or may not be more accurate
from a certain point of view. My thoughts, opinions, and feelings for
you are unchanged from when you served the Lady and the Light,
regardless of how you may feel after reading what I have to say to you.

You are accurate in your wording. You allowed the Church to close your
eyes and cover your ears. In that one statement you admit that the fault
belongs to you. This is something you allowed and yet you accuse the
followers of Light for doing this to you. Do not be fooled. Do you think
that people who do not follow the Light are more trustworthy? Do you
think they are incapable of deceit and trickery? Is it only the Church
that does such things. Naive, Adalie. That is the way of things. And the
reason that is they way of things is because mortals are imperfect. We
lie. We manipulate. We resort to violence. We are often illogical,
unreasonable, irresponsible and immature. This goes across the board.
Good, Evil, neutral: none are exempt from the nature of mortal beings.
Anyone who tells you any different is lying. I fear that putting your
hope in the those who are not part of the church because you feel that
they will be more honest will disappoint you greatly. Will you show the
same disappointment with them when the time comes? Are you able to be
objective?

If you were blinded to reality and knew nothing of the real world, that
was your own fault. I have served the Light my entire life and now,
after all the time you have known me will you truly say that I am blind?
That I know nothing of reality or the world? I do not believe for a
second that you were simply instructed to follow blindly. I do not
believe that because you were a Mitran once. And will you dare to stand
before me and my Lady and declare that She ordered you to never
question? Will you say that She told you to follow Her blindly? If so,
then the words you speak are no better than the alleged "lies" you have
been taught all your life.

You have never been shown kindness? As the Vox Solis I myself endeavored
to show you every kind of understanding of which I was capable. Will you
stand there and say that you were innocent? Will you say that you never
aided enemies of the Light? I don't just mean those who's actions are
merely questionable or who fall into a gray area. But true enemies of
the Light. Will you say to me, after you were shown great patience in
regard to your behaviour that you were NEVER shown kindness? That you
were NEVER given help?

You may be correct in saying you were blinded. You lack vision. You fail
to see the bigger picture. Instead, you have become overwhelmed by
thoughts of yourself. Me, me, me. I do not get what -I- deserve. -I- am
not shown grace. -I- am not shown mercy. For this reason, -I- will do
what -I- want to do. And you claim that now you can see. How
unfortunate.

You say you are not asking anyone to leave the Church but isn't that
exactly what you are doing? You have been lead astray and now you seek
to do the same. I am sorry, Adalie. But perhaps you were lied to.
Perhaps someone told you long ago that the path of Good and Light was
easy and full of instant gratification. If so, then I deeply apologize
because that IS a lie. Those without the fortitude, the will, the
strength and the perseverance to walk that steep and narrow path will
suffer. But before you pull out your soapbox, please do not start
speaking as though you are the only one to ever be ostracized. Please do
not speak as though you are the only one to ever weather the blows when
those you have fought and died for suddenly seem to have nothing but
disdain for you. You are my friend, I love you like a child to me but
you have received such blows and you crumbled beneath them and gave up.
For that, I have very little sympathy.

I realize that what I have said may make you angry. It may hurt you. I
hope so. Because that means there may be something in you that still
responds to proper discipline. And discipline is meant to sting a bit.

N.S.

Oh, and Murg, if you happen to have gotten this far: those who know
nothing of true labour should keep ignorant and asinine opinions to
themselves.

Penned by my hand on the 16th of Aeguary, in the year 490 AF.