Dear Deluded Kuntar,

I will respect your request that the bedroom be off-limits; however, we
all know that any sort of argument/spat/fight/war, or what have you
eventually ends in the bedroom. Making it off-limits only serves to
lessen the fun of the original fight.

On the subject of gold: Where we get our gold is really of no concern to
you, but it is safe to say that it most certainly does not come from
you, or any other male. The only exception to this is perhaps the
working-girls near Thera. Are you talking about them? I know that you
spend a good deal of time hanging around there, but honestly, dirty
habits are nothing to brag about. You may argue that not all of your
gold goes to the lovely ladies of the Doxy House, and I'll be fair, I
know it doesn't. The other portion lands in the pockets of the barkeeps
and on Sapience's blackjack tables.

Also, the Pissy Mistress Soldiers would like you to know that we are
amazed that you have found the time for such a drawn out process as a
public news gender war. We can only assume that after spending so much
time comparing the length of your male genitals with that of other men,
you're looking for a bit of stimulation for that head of yours, and by
that I mean the one you've seldom put to use.

On a related note, I'm surprised you are not tuckered out by now. You
usually can't manage anything taking longer than one minute and thirteen
seconds, and that I have from a reliable source. (I don't know what
you've been doing with Tiax, but the source was not him, so stop
throwing his name at me)

On the subject of Tiax: You clearly have never seen a decent pair of
shoes, because what you are calling "Tiax's shiny shoes" is in actuality
slime-covered forest debris. More evidence of your (meaning
man's)tastelessness. However, in all fairness, Tiax looks quite stylish
in anything he chooses to wear.

I conclude with a call to arms. All women, far and wide, feel free to
devour Kuntar, and any other creatures calling themselves men. It goes
back to the old saying "I brought you into this world, and I can take
you out." Let's save ourselves a bit of trouble ladies, and set things
right. Men belong in the stables, with the other animals. They were
never meant to be house pets, and we were mistaken in our belief that
they could ever really be domesticated.



Knowing that if I had one, mine would be bigger,
Ata Eruu'Yul

Penned by my hand on the 16th of Phaestian, in the year 472 AF.