Mortals of Sapience,

For years now you have been allowed to grow fat and lazy, reveling in
the frozen treats that various merchants of the lands provide. Decades
have passed as you allowed the creamy goodness sold by various vendors
to seep into your very psyche. Even now, I suspect that you have a
craving developing for a delicious bowl of ice cream... a hunger that
goes beyond the stomach and reaches to the soul...

But no longer shall those treats come so easily! I, the Lord of the
Jungle, have decided that now is the time. The market on ice cream is no
longer an open one, as I will possess all ice cream within the realms.
Should you desire any of it you will have to go through me, and me
alone.

Beg for my blessing upon your fattened bodies, sweet tooths of the
lands. The times of plenty have passed.

Should anyone know of new ice cream locations on this plane or any
other, I shall reward them with the princely sum of 5000 gold. It must
be a location that I have not yet found on my own, but great shall be
the boon to the one that shares this knowledge with me. My time is more
valuable spent elsewhere, and the gold is a mere pittance among my vast
stores.

-Santar Darkwind, Lord of the Jungle

Penned by my hand on the 18th of Aeguary, in the year 459 AF.