Greetings, Houses of Hashan.

With all due respect - I know that many outside of your city deny your
existence, however that is no excuse to not participate in the Mayaween
Costume Competition. I could have sworn one of your Houses at least had
joined, but when I looked back, there was nothing there.

Prove to us that you ARE in fact real, alive and living, just like that
growth on Kuntar's back. Oh, by the way Kuntar - I just wanted to tell
you, I am glad you prefer Tiax's chest over mine, if a mans chest is
your thing, more power to you. However I am proud to say I have had no
work done on mine, whereas he has been spotted getting work more than
once to his from Dr. Kotorxian. Naturally perky is better, I am proud of
what the Logos gave me!

And speaking of Tiax...Tiax dear, maybe my husband loves you more than
he loves me, but I still have an advantage over you, and it is not that
fantastically large and shiny piece of platinum and diamonds on my left
ring finger. What is it you might ask? Two words for you: jump rope. And
two more words: bounce bounce.

JJ darling, I do appreciate you defending my honour, your words were so
romantic and encouraging. You have truly proven that you DO love me, and
it brought a tear to my eye reading that. Or perhaps my mascara was
smudged, but either way, I love you too sugarpants! Now I know I will
always have a lot of competition in our marriage, what with Tiax and his
artificial chest, and Delphinus the sissy nancy to titillate and tempt
you, but as I promised you long ago during our wedding vows that took
place a few years after the actual wedding, I will always be sure to not
only keep up my end of our power-couple status, but to be the best wife
you could ever have. How? Two words: jump rope. Two more words: bounce
bounce.

Oh, Hashan. Sorry, I forgot about you for a second. Oh damn, you
probably hear that a lot, don't you. Sorry! Anyway, I heard some
whispers in the forest from a grove near Oenone's the other day when she
and I were having tea and planning misch- working on House items, that
the Druids are spreading rumours in the Aalen, Aerinewild, Aureliana,
Black, Ithmias, Northreach, Darkenwood, Pash, and Cyrene that the Hashan
Houses have no cojones to join this competition. Are you really going to
let them get away with that? Or are you going to prove that you not only
have cojones, but that they rival Mendax's in size and SHOW US WHAT YOU
GOT?

On behalf of the Sylvans, and the 'Prove Hashan is Real!' Campaign
(which I am not part of but they asked for the plug and sponsored this
post),

-Ainia Ta'sa

Penned by my hand on the 8th of Mayan, in the year 432 AF.