Accusing me of attemping to jump you is absolutely absurd. I am
sincerely disgusted that you would think that I would jump you, whom I
considered to be one of my better friends. Shows how much I know,
though, right? I will be ignoring you from here on, because I just can't
deal with people who accuse me of things that couldn't be further from
the truth.
I'm saddened that I will have to leave the ranks of the Bovineship to
find friends elsewhere, who might have a better grasp on reality than
said cows. So it is with great sadness that I remove my cow bell, for my
fever no longer has a cure.

Penned by my hand on the 13th of Daedalan, in the year 397 AF.