Apparently many of those silly Shallamites out there are unhappy with
our current practices regarding orphans. Henceforth, I shall be holding
an annual orphan cook off. Get out here and show us you culinary skills,
the meat will be provided, just bring your utensils and spices! Hey, at
least that perfectly edible meat isn't going to waste now. Let's all do
our saintly duty and feed the hungry. Shallamites welcome.

By the way, I agree with you all the way RT.

Penned by my hand on the 9th of Valnuary, in the year 396 AF.