Everyone that issued me should remember this: It ain't that I'm too big
to listen to the issues, it's just that I'm too damn big to pay
attention to 'em.

If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it is
probably just a tool of the conspiracy.
The Lost Deep Thoughts 10

-------------------------------------------------

Supplicant of the Hammer, Deekan Tiercel-Askari says, "Get on your knees
and suck my Deekan."

"Maybe to get attention, I'll tell everybody I'm like, supreme badass of
the world. And that I challenge them all to a thumb wrestling match. But
just to spite them, I don't show up." -Zypher

A male voice is heard through the membrane, "I once was a little school
girl."
Bloody Dirk Quillian, a Shot in the Dark says, "I'm all horny now."
-Submit by Miraluna

Nimby's combat ranking -> He is the 50th ranked combatant with a rating
of 666.
-Submit by Hyperlith

Happens Every Time
------------------
(Ashtan): Epiphany says, "Let the boy be proud of his mastubatory
acheivement!"
(Ashtan): Epiphany says, "Erg."
-Submit by Torn

The Hell...
-----------
(Followers of Clementius): You say, "...Followers of Clementius? The
hell? I thought I joined the Szanthaxian Empire..."
(Followers of Clementius): Vashu says, "Sshhhh, we're all hailing
Clementius right now."
(Followers of Clementius): You say, "...The hell... Who's Clementius...
I wake up and have to deal with this..."
(Followers of Clementius): Malachai says, "Heh."
(Followers of Clementius): Jaemon says, "HERATIC."
(Followers of Clementius): Jaemon says, "BRAND BRAND."
(Followers of Clementius): Vashu says, "Honours usually tells you
stuff."
(Followers of Clementius): Callanthe says, "Whoa. Do not besmirch the
name of The Clementius."
Malachai has declared you a formal enemy of the Clan of Followers of
Clementius.
(Followers of Clementius): Jaemon says, "He denies the existance of
God!"
(Followers of Clementius): Malachai says, "He has been branded a
Heretic."
(Followers of Clementius): You say, "Clementius... I know he's a Celani.
But why the hell do we follow him?"
(Followers of Clementius): Vashu says, "Heretiiiic."
(Followers of Clementius): Dakidark says, "Heratic!!"
(Followers of Clementius): You say, "...You already said that."
(Followers of Clementius): Callanthe says, "Is there no one to cast out
the heretic?!"
(Followers of Clementius): You say, "The heretic is leaving after he
gets a goddamn reason that the Empire no longer exists."
Rocktamer tells you, "Szan retired."
(Followers of Clementius): Malachai says, "Read CLANHELP FOC."
(Followers of Clementius): Malachai says, "That's why the Empire doesn't
exist."
(Followers of Clementius): You say, "...You guys are just the Church,
but worse..."
You have quit the clan of Followers of Clementius.
You tell Bishop of the Clementius, Rocktamer, the Vampire Slayer, "Give
me one good reason why you guys had to screw up the Empire just because
Szan retired."
Rocktamer tells you, "I quit a while ago."
Rocktamer tells you, "Cuz the empire was stupid."
You tell Bishop of the Clementius, Rocktamer, the Vampire Slayer,
"...Yeah, but so's the Fellowship of the Pancake, Raja Society, and the
Carnavalis Institute of Jestering, but they still exist."
Rocktamer tells you, "But they don't need to exist."
You tell Bishop of the Clementius, Rocktamer, the Vampire Slayer, "The
Empire had a reason to exist."
You tell Bishop of the Clementius, Rocktamer, the Vampire Slayer, "It
was a semi-formal way to tell Mhaldor, "You suck.""

Lovely Misschannels
-------------------
(Ashtan): Diocletian says, "Hmm.. any 20 year olds that dont have a
father or mother around.. that would like one."
(Ashtan): Entwood says, "Are you hitting on me?"
(Ashtan): Entwood says, "Misc."
(Ashtan): You say, "Perfect timing."

If you have to ask, you're not allowed to know
----------------------------------------------
#68 (system): 5/15/7:09 "Issue #6982 has been filed regarding you.
Please submit a reply as soon as possible. (See HELP ISSUES)"
Issue:
#6982 By: Rocktamer :: language rules on public posts
#69 Rocktamer: 5/16/1:17 "Ok dude, here's the thing about my issue.
Personally, I don't think you're funny. Your jokes are stale, and you
really just stole mendax's idea and ruined it like a corporation copies
a good idea until its old news. But that has nothing to do with the
issue. Watch your mouth on public posts. I don't want to read a public
post and see words like "f*ck." It offends me as it offends most adults.
Its too out of context. If you were my friend, and you said f*ck around
me, I wouldn't care. That said, if you're going to do those posts, I
can't stop you. But since you seem to think that quoting people cursing
is all it takes to be funny (which its not. all your quotes are just
people swearing. That's not really very cool. I'm guessing you're like
14, and have just started to be around that, so you think its neat. It
gets boring real quick, believe me.) But if you're going to do it, you
need to at least censor the words. if not the whole word, all but the
first letter. Otherwise, your posts are really nothing more than a
string of cursewards I can hear anytime I listen to a rap song. They do
NOT belong on a public channel. Perhaps they'd be better suited to the
Ashtan Ragers clan."
You sent the following message to Rocktamer: Alright, now I'm just a
little pissed off. Mendax is an assh*le. That's all I've got on him. I
don't know what the hell you're talking about saying I stole his idea.
My quotes are not all on people cursing. Not many are. The only reason I
have cursing in people's quotes is one's like Epiphany's. It was a
misschan. That makes it funny. Zypher saying he's a f*ckin' genius is
funny because he's Zypher. And if you didn't already notice, I really
could give a f*ck less what assh*les like you think about me. Humorless
people have no place on this planet, in and out of character. Issue me
again and I won't care. Send me another 200 line message and I'm gonna
get pissed. How is f*ck out of context? F*ckity f*ck f*ck f*ck. Don't
piss me off.
You sent the following message to Rocktamer: Random curses shouldn't be
permitted on public channels, maybe. But humor is life. Get used to me.
I'll be around for awhile. Bein' reasonable will leave me full of
venoms.
#72 Rocktamer: 5/16/2:58 "You're missing one very important point.
You're not the least bit funny. You're some 14-year-old that just
learned to curse so you think its funny. Your humor is dry and
uninteresting."
#73 Rocktamer: 5/16/2:59 "But that has nothing to do with the issue. The
issue is that you're cursing on a public channel, and I've had enough of
seeing that garbage on public. Leave it to ragers."
You sent the following message to Rocktamer: Wrong! I'm 13, and I
learned to curse when I was 4. You're one of the 70 people who think I'm
not funny. I've defended against every single one. You're just someone
with an opinion I could care less about, like the rest of you humorless
weirdos. If you don't want to see it on public, you'll have to find a
way to not read the posts. I know how hard that could be. I have much
more support than anything else.
You sent the following message to Rocktamer: I never claimed that
quoting people swearing was funny. Zypher saying he's a genius, that's
just funny. Epiphany misschanneling somethin' that severe is very funny.
And I've NEVER claimed to be cool, and I never will. That idea is
just... messed. Slask being cool is an oxymoron. Get a sense of humor.
I'm not gonna censor anything, unless it's extremely offensive. Half of
LDT comes from messages like the one you sent me. Nothing can stop LDT,
nothing. Not even if I get 4,000 issues/second, it'll still stay up. I
think quoting someone cursing is all it takes to be funny? Read the
other LDTs, next to no curses, and the other humor severly outnumbers
the quotes with curses.
#74 Rocktamer: 5/16/3:02 "All right Carrottop. Keep on keepin' on then"
You sent the following message to Rocktamer: Heh. Call me Carrottop
again and I'll rip your head off! *grin* Either that, or embaress myself
trying. Whatever works.
#75 Rocktamer: 5/16/3:07 "Just work harder. Those things are so not
funny out of context. They're all "you-had-to-be-there's" which just
don't work. If you want to be funny, its gotta be something like the
time Sartan and Twilight were shouting for 5 minutes, and then someone's
like "Take it to tells." They have to be one liners. All yours require
some insight on the situation, which you don't provide."
You sent the following message to Rocktamer: It's for anyone who knows
how to read news, basically. On the lighter side, you just added a huge
string of messages to LDT. Probably about 4 pages long. Congratulations!
You sent the following message to Rocktamer: And one liners are very
hard to pull off. I don't have that kinda skill, I'm Slask.

Fun Fun
-------
Proficy lashes out with his whip and drags Qwilleran into the room.
A nearly invisible magical shield forms around Proficy.
Qwilleran razes Proficy's magical shield with a dwarven battleaxe.
Qwilleran slashes into Proficy with a dwarven battleaxe.
1410h, 1680m ex-
Qwilleran swings his sword in wide arc.
You cry out in pain as you are clipped by the blade.
A prickly stinging overcomes your bod** fading awa* into numbness.
929h, 1680m ex-
Slayer of the Mhaldorus, Lord Qwilleran Yuridja of the Mnemosyne Sect
says, "Sh*t."
Slayer of the Mhaldorus, Lord Qwilleran Yuridja of the Mnemosyne Sect
says, "Sorry slask."
Qwilleran tells you, "Proficy."
You tell Slayer of the Mhaldorus, Lord Qwilleran Yuridja of the
Mnemosyne Sect, "Have fun."

Wow, ran out of room, again. Well, 'til LDT 11.

I have some more people to deem officially badass this time around, they
are: Qwilleran, Proficy, and Deekan.
It's also worth mentioning that Zypher is still badass, and could be the
Almighty Lord of the Badass, but that's if what I said mattered, and
until that happens, the world will still make sense... at least a
little.

Remember, issuers, that no matter what color we are on the outside,
vomit is always multicolored.

".. You bastard. You should end every post with one of MY quotes. ..But
that makes me look like an egotisical maniac.. Good enough." -Zypher
-Slask Kauffman

Penned by my hand on the 25th of Lupar, in the year 337 AF.