Greetings Everyone,
I write to you all today to notify you of a new service which should be
of great interest to you. Have you ever read this forum before and
wondered what on earth did I just read? Did you ever read a public post
and swear to yourself that you would never bother to read the public
news ever again? Do you find yourself suffering from headaches, nausea
and a general feeling of unease after reading through public news? Well,
my new service may be just what you are looking for. I call it the
Public News Service. For a small yearly fee, my staff of trained
scholars will read all the posts made on the public forum, remove
completely the ones that no one in their right mind would be interested
in and summarize those which may hold some snippets of interest or
entertainment for the normal citizen. Once per year, my team of
dedicated professionals will send you a letter, summarizing all the
relevant news of the past year. No longer will you be forced to read 20
consecutive posts debating the definition of chaos. No more reading
abject apologies written by someone who thought they could insult a god,
guild or city without any kind of repercussion. Only news that is
relevant to you!!! Act now, don't delay. Mail to me the small sum of
10,000 gold, don't bother to include your name, my staff can determine
who sent the letter from the fingerprints you left on the gold. Save
yourself time and sanity subscribe to the Public News Service today.

Penned by my hand on the 6th of Valnuary, in the year 322 AF.