Gretings dear mortals and Gods alike,

You will be pleased to know that I have returned from My absence, unless
you happen to be one of the scheming monsters who sent Me to that awful
school for young ladies and trapped Me inside a quasi-mortal body for so
many months. I have endured "sing-a-songs", elevenses, cutlery
etiquette, the importance of being straight of spine, discussed the
finer points of the social acceptability of wearing hats indoors and
worst of all, been told that "To romp is unladylike and should I do it
again, My feet will be bound with string soaked in paraffin and I'll be
made to dance across a fire and see how that makes Me romp."

Thankfully I managed to break some of My power shackles and was granted
the sweet manipulative powers of the celani, with which I re-arranged
the cutlery to go from inside to out so the girls were using the wrong
items for each course, turn the endless cups of something called tea
into thin mead and get everybody drunk and turn all the books they put
on My head to make Me walk straight into a colourful array of hats that
made them shriek and run for cover because a black, wide-brimmed hat is
NOT appropriate head attire indoors and the Goddess of Etiquette would
strike them down with Her "Removal of fan-fluttering priveledges"
punishment!

Suffice to say I have returned but I am going to spend a few relaxing
days spitting off bridges, rolling in mud and sitting without crossing
My ankles so I'll be mostly unavailable for a couple more days.

Pandora, Goddess of Mischief

Penned by my hand on the 4th of Lupar, in the year 314 AF.