Ohhhhhh,
I knew a guy from green loosis
He was quite the fetchin' rake
Always pulped his own juices
And stayed away from cake
Til he tried Harris' Darkbrew
Now the man's a candy fiend
He found the West's eighth truth
In a barrel of butter cream

(Chorus)
Oh, Drink'n, drink'n, drink'n
Drink'n, drink'n Harris' brew
No'one knows what'll happen
Most especially not you

Ohhhhhh,
I knew a man from Mhaldor Isle
An ever grim justiciar
I ne'er once saw him crack a smile
He took his mhun steak raw
Til he tried Harris' Darkbrew
Now the he's a jocular guy
He'll talk your ears right off your head
Makes a senator look shy

(Chorus)

Ohhhhhh,
I knew a lass from cold Cyrene
with a fragile condition
Sailing always turned her green
lest in a supine position
Til she tried Harris' Darkbrew
Now she's a sailing ace
Belting shanty's while steering her crew
To Shallam's final resting place

(Chorus)

Ohhhhhh,
I knew a lady from Targossas
Who spoke no ill regards
Not-a stare, not-a glare, not-a leary pass
Refused all dice and cards
Til she tried Harris' Darkbrew
Now she spins the wheel
Where will it land, who will it pick
Some entity will make a deal

(Chorus)

Ohhhhhh,
I knew a woman from proud Ashtan
Who shouted day and night
Crowed as loud as a cock or ten
From dusk to the noon daylight
Til she tried Harris' Darkbrew
Now she's keeping quiet hours
When light grows dim she zips her lips
And contemplates higher powers

(Chorus)

Ohhhhhh,
I knew a lad from Hashan town
unremarkable in every way
Nere' a hair upon his crown
His name? I couldn't say
Til he tried Harris' Darkbrew
Now he's a hut-hold name
Running with the wolves and hunting men
Impossible to tame

(Chorus)x2

Penned by my hand on the 15th of Phaestian, in the year 930 AF.