Come sit, my friends, to hear the tale
Of the lady who lived under mist-y veil
And how one day she came to be known
For covering skin and sagging bone
With a garment so foul and atrocious
That the very sight made people nauseous
But at least it had a delicate floral print, it's all the fashion these
days, you know.

It seems one day her loving friend
Conceived a plan, to which the end
Was to spread far and wide the endless rumors
Of the mist-veiled lady's floral bloomers
And in doing such, to pay a modest
Homage to her patron Goddess
And perhaps even giggle a little, I mean come on, it was funny, ok?

The plot hatched by that wicked varmint
Included the sewing of that vile garment
And a message in bright embroidery
With instructions written in naughty glee
That if this garment should be found
By any stranger on the ground--
To do a pal a favour and please return them to the mist-ed lady if you
can spare a minute, she's probably lost them again.

To Shallam, went the friend, by way of the park
Then through red fog to Mhaldor dark
Seeking both gremlins and paradise birds
To send them with the wonderful words
That the garments had been found at last
And could be returned to the lady's... well, you know
And then celebrations could ensue, because what's a party without
underwear?

A flood of gremlins, doves, and owls
Came bearing letters with syllables and vowels
Explaining the tale in various ways
How innocent people, with horrified gaze
Did spy the thing, and with trembling hands
Picked them up and followed the panty's commands
By obediently returning the awful things to their rightful owner, though
why she would want them, they weren't too sure.

For months, it seemed, the letters arrived
But O my friends, you must not be deprived
Of hearing about the tells from fellows
Who found similar garments in Azdun and Delos
And strewn over trees and mossy rocks
And in Bella's dungeon and on Jaru's docks
And pretty much everywhere else you can think of... MAN those things got
around!

Just when the lady thought there'd be no more
An adventurer found some by killing a boar
Another, a buckawn, a goblin, a rat
An elephant, even! And don't think that that
Was easy to get him to even put on--
He's quite a big fella, not some delicate fawn
And a cross-dressing elephant is funny enough in itself, and that wasn't
even the point of the joke!

Then came one day that the Gentleman Thief
Came up to the lady, to her friends' disbelief
And proclaimed, "Lady I've followed thy steps for some time
Trying to return something I believe might be thine."
And into her hand he thrust the floral nightmare
Then with a bow, vanished right into thin air.
And let me tell you, several people hurt themselves laughing after
seeing THAT.

You'd think it was over, this wondrous tale
But one joke remained for she of mist-y veil
She found she was wearing them, choked, let out a cough
Seeing they'd NEVER decay and they'd NEVER come off
She tugged and she wrenched, gave a pull and a pushie
But the horrid things stayed firmly glued to her tushie
And then she promptly attempted to kill her friend, which... can we say
'overreaction much'? Sheesh.

This tale, my friends, has a deep moral core
That you should remember, with wisdom and lore
And that, very simply, is: know that your friends
While devoted to you, may have their own ends,
And that is probably to laugh at you as much as possible
Grinning with glee, and teeth very flossable.
And also, never let a disciple of Mischief near a running joke involving
underwear, honestly, you should all know better.

Finis.

Dedicated to: The mist-veiled lady and the Overseer of Ashtan. (And by
the way, they did come off eventually!)

Penned by my hand on the 14th of Mayan, in the year 450 AF.