Much to my chagrin, one of the swarthy Mysian pirates taught me a lesson
or two about Swashbuckling the other day. It seems I still have a lot to
learn. Here is a brief summary of his rantings...

Ahoy me matey's, step aboard,
I've a thing or two to say.
So listen up ye soggy dogs
And we'll be on our way.
I've swashed buckles with the best
And I know how 'tis done,
I can beat the lot of ye
'Fore the settin' of the sun!
Backflippin' 'tis so easy
Me ol' ma can do.
But if ye handspring, laddy
You can do some damage too.
The backhandspring will get ye 'way
If trouble is a-brewin'
But if you're wrapped in webbin'
It's a somersault you'd be doin'.
Now knuckleslap's 'bout as good
As a lubber at the wheel.
So never mind that rubbish
And keep an even keel.
A bit of rope 'tis all ye need
To gather up ye wenches,
From the crow's nest fly ye down
And abscond the lasses senseless.
If ye hope to survive long
On the bloody seas
You'll need to learn to parry
And get up off yer knees.
Parry's fine, trueparry's better
As 'tis plain to see.
Ye can save your arse
If you choose one of the three.
Right, left, or center
You'll be doin' fine
And with a quick Risposte
Ye can make the scoundrel whine.
Now, there's nothin' like a cup-o-rum
To make a DrunkenSailor.
Try to hit him if ye can
'fore he gets much paler!
After all's been said and done
Matey's get out of the way
If ye see me climb the trees
And holler "DFA!"

Penned by my hand on the 25th of Mayan, in the year 394 AF.