Good Jera,

Some time over a year ago, I was permanently enemied to the city of Cyrene.

I have been a loyal Cyrenian my entire life, and cannot consider myself an enemy to her. Nor have I ever thus far considered myself an enemy to her Patron, Lord Neraeos Pelagia, God-Emperor of Thalassa.

With this in mind, I have pleaded for my enemy status to be reconsidered, and in so doing I present this public apology to the Master of the Seas.

I vow, upon my Honor and the soul given to me by the Creator, now and forever, to never speak a word that is untrue.


Lord Neraeos,

I have stood in overt protest to Your will, on multiple occasion. I have done this out of love for Cyrene, for duty to her, for my ideals, principles, and desire for the good of the city. I know that I am hardly alone in this, and shall not insinuate for a moment that You, or any other citizen does not share this desire. I believed I had good reason to speak up, and still do. If this belief is to be proven wrong in time, I welcome it, and indeed hope for it.

In light of this, I have spent a considerable amount of time in self-reflection on my conduct leading up to this moment.

You have accused me of incessant insults, and for the longest time, I struggled to see it: my aim was earnest, my intent true, my words curated carefully, my analysis exact - to the extent of the facts I was privy to. Where was the insult? I rankled internally at the perceived injustice, at the humiliation of being asked to apologize for standing up for what I believe in against insurmountable odds.

As the anxiety gnawed away at my insides, some time late last month I came upon the realization, and perceived my own weakness and hypocrisy.

I have sometimes spoken to others, when they are experiencing some inner turmoil for one reason or another, about the necessity of keeping a clear head, and of how no one else is responsible for your feelings other than yourself. Not only did I struggle to follow my own advice, but I lied to myself, and implicitly to You, and everyone else.

I was angry. Very angry. Angry at change, angry at perceived threat, angry at not being heard, at not getting my way, angry at You, and angry at anyone and everyone else who would not see what I was trying to show them.

But, I am very good with words. I layer meaning, I construct careful implications - not out of a desire to manipulate, but to reveal truth, as much in my own mind as in the minds of others. And so I layered my anger in, betraying myself in doing so, reveling in my ability to disguise my words with lexical artistry to the point where I could unconsciously convince myself that there is no insult there, just the truth, and to hell with tone and appearances.

But the truth is, I -wanted- to insult You. The anger vented itself, laced in through careful management of tone, of pointed statements and sardonic echoes. Certainly not overt, and slight enough for plausible deniability, but no less real for it.

In the unconscious lie, this failure of self-control, and the weighing of my words, there is insult to You, to the City, and to myself. And there is weakness. I allowed my emotions to run away with me, and I did lash out to relieve my uncontrolled anger.

For this, I earnestly and humbly bow, and beg forgiveness.

Moreso, I welcome the revelation of my own flaws, and thank You for the opportunity to reach a new degree of self-understanding, and grow as a result.

Whatever the outcome of this post, I close now with a relieved conscience, and hopefully a lighter heart.


With respect,

Riahn Aegocerus
Sentry of the Valley






Penned by my hand on the 19th of Glacian, in the year 979 AF.