My light is darker than yours, my dark is lighter than yours, my pinkie toe is bigger than your pinkie toe.

I guess things like that are important to some people, but not to Jonesey. I just want to help people. I have been receiving tons of feedback and I want to remind everyone that unless you write in a letter, your questions will not be answered. Don't forget to include one golden sovereign so I know you mean business.

NEXT!

You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey,

First let me say big fan!!

I am recently single, my love of many years chose to sleep and not
return. I don't think I'm a total troglodyte in the manners department
and I am not a freaking gorgon when it comes to looks. I would like to
find a new lasting love, Jonesey. Your own happy marriage is an
inspiration. I however do not want children so I can't marry my own son.
What should I do?

Sincerly,

Loveless


Dear Loveless,
Single and ready to mingle, thats great welcome back. Not everyone can be as good looking as Jonesey so I understand your reservations with dealing with others. I have been fortunate to be suave for most of my life and it helps me in many facets of my life.

Now let's move to help you. The best way for you to accomplish something is to figure out what you want. Forget about the other person for a moment, what do you like? Think about some of the things your previous lover did that you loved. That is a good way to start your search and start eliminating people that you don't want to persue. Once you have a smaller pool to pick from it will help you in your search. That or make your perfect spouse, it's not as hard as you think. think about your own first love, who was the first person you have ever loved. Do it for Science!!

NEXT!


You read what is written on a snowflake-shaped letter:
Dear Jonesey,

Why are you a communist?

Thanks, Adu

Dear Adu,

I'm not a communist, I'm a capitalist. I believe that there should be a direct correlation between your efforts and your worth. We are not all the same and we should embrace that. I'm sorry that I am better than you, it's hard to be Jonesey sometimes.



NEXT!!!!
You read what is written on a letter of pale vellum:
**** Unable to deliver sent letter ***

This letter addressed to Jonesey was undelivered after 10 months.

Dear Jonesey,

My fine feathered friend and me were totally talking about cultural
things and what a new guy to the leading position should know.
Weeellllll you know almost everything like how I use glue to put his
feathers back when I pluck them so I kinda thought to myself, "Jonesey
has to know this!!"

Soooooooo, what does a new leader to cultural things gotta know?

Culturally Blind

Dear Culutally Blind,

In one word, fun. If people aren't having fun you're doing it wrong. If your event is a chore versus a party, your event sucks. If people have to do so much prep work that your aides are not having fun, you are doing it wrong. Fun builds camraderie and that leads to your city overall improving. If morale is high, your city will thrive in other aspects. When things becomes too much work, well people burn out and lose interest. That is the worst thing you can do to someone. I would also say its important how to disfuse a situation. Not everyone will like everyone else in a city. Diversity helps a city to have many avenues of success. You have to know how to get people to work together. Past that the only other thing I would say you have to do is provide drugs and booze at your parties.


Remember, FUN FUN FUN FUN.

Thanks for all your letters, if you want more Dear Jonesey, keep them coming. I will solve your problems. Just make sure to include one golden sovereign so I know you mean business.

Penned by my hand on the 11th of Chronos, in the year 791 AF.