To whom it may concern (a.k.a the pathetic wretches involved in my
enemying)

As I awoke this fine day, the birds singing around me and the warm
breeze crossing my scales, I was shocked to find that some fool within
the walls of Shallam had redefined his foolishness by enemying me. This
childish little fool shall go on unnamed as I am sure his superior brain
capability will force him to make himself known. That said, I will begin
enlightening those who care to read this to the events that transpired
concerning little Zains accident with my foot.

Now then, we all know Azdun is the premiere location to engage in
'glorius' battle with the fowl minions oozing from the depths of the
darkness there. We all know the likes of zombies, ghasts, ghouls and
foul wraiths that attack you. We can all attest to the aggressiveness of
the Vampire Lord, Zsarachnor. In my travels there, I was terrified by a
zombies assault on me and ran around until I composed myself. I soon
found myself face to face with the Vampire Lord himself. Mustering every
churchie ideal in my mind, I ran. I lured the Vampire Lord into a room
with doors closed and icewalled the exits to keep mortals away from
Zsarachnors wrath. As another realm beckoned me away, I told everyone in
the area to be wary. As I awoke soon after, I was subject to the mature
behaviour of Zain and Bulvai accusing me of sending the Vampire Lord to
kill them (Honestly, who needs the Vampire Lord to kill Zain?) Their
little tirade went on for 2 achaean days accusing me of treachery and
betraying them (even though I hold no loyalties to them) Bulvai finally
vented and gave me a lecherous smooch as forgiveness, but little Zain
(inspired by god knows what) proceeded to insult me calling me an enemy
to Shallam and to the Church. He was promptly warned by myself and many
others that such remarks might prove painful to him...but alas the poor
boy didn't listen. Minutes later, I had rejected Shallam as my home.
Minutes after that, poor Zain found himself a soul.


-whew- thats like, long.

Anyways, if we read the Shallam constitution (which I have, everytime I
called a vizier a twit, moron, idiot etc, Dresden forced me to read the
stupid book which resulted in another colorful explicative describing
shallamese leadership) it mentions the crimes of treachery and murder.
These crimes are defined as being directly against the city while a
citizen of the 'glorious' shallam. Little Squire Zain's claim that I
killed him is perfectly true. But Little Squire Zain's claim that I am
an enemy of Shallam is a little of the mark. Little Squire Zain violated
numerous shallamese code's of conduct with his pious little churchie
mouth and also violated three commandments of his churchie codex (The
big glowing book). The fact the Church didn't punish him...who knows,
they're always right, the rest of us are too stupid to comprehend their
double standards. Instead of acting along the Shallamese Chain of
Command, a certain quasi-Shallamese leader decided to side with his
churchie buddy and enemy the person who saved his ironclad ass from
death on numerous occaions without asking him a single question.

I now come to the sad and mushy part. For twenty years I gave all I had
to Shallam. My body, my time, my heart, and my soul. As I find myself on
a new path of life, I withdrew from her Armed Forces, and withdrew my
support for her Cause. I was repaid with the hurtful, ignorant commnets
of the Churches younger members. For weeks I dismissed it as meaningless
church drivel, but lately, Little Squire Zain and his band of righteous
Churchie Club members have been insulting me as a Sentaari, myself as a
person, and have even stooped to saying my fiance is going to follow my
path to Ashtan (Which by the way, who in Ashtan is stupid enough to let
me in scott free?) So, as any normal person (non-pacifist) Zain's body
kept getting in the path of my legs. To make a long story short, for my
years of service to that "Bastion of Light and Righteousness, The Jewel
of the East" a group of dimwitted, foul-mouthed, numbnut, inbread,
impotent paladins enemy me for crushing their male egos, give me a
break.

I know offer my deepest sypmathies to any and all enemies of Shallam for
the awful process of dealing with Shallamese leadership, my heart goes
with all of you as you deal with such pathetic excuses for Righteous
Leadership. It seems more the Bastion of The Delusional Half-witted
Hypocrites of Achaea.

-Calhoun

Penned by my hand on the 18th of Valnuary, in the year 287 AF.