Mercenary bitch that I am, I will accept your offer of a price for my friendship. My friendship however is very costly in that one must not only pay me 5000 gold for every day that I deign to talk to you, but a series of maintenance payments of 2000 gold must be paid monthly to keep me happy, whether I talk to you in those months or not.

This monthly retainer fee is to cover such eventualities as I get hungry or bored, so that I may be ready to be a friend in the case of your need. Unplanned sessions of listening on my part will be charged at the normal 5000 gold a day fee, plus the added fee of 100 gold per unit of boredom pertaining to the nature of the tale which I must hear.

Anyone other than Calia willing to take me up on a paid friendship deal must message me with the amount of deposit they are willing to put down as a starter to ensure my loyalty. No less than one month's retainer plus a month in hand will be accepted so no stupid offers please. I take my friendship very seriously and do not wish to be bothered by anyone looking for a companion, confidant or partner.

This has been an advertisment for Mercenary Friends Inc. Call Armelia for details

Penned by my hand on the 18th of Mayan, in the year 268 AF.