Now I've had a lot of ill-informed people asking me "Whats a Moose?"
and "Whose Mr. Javi?" recently, so I decided to post a glossary of
Thak-terms, to help get the younger generation up to speed on my
long and exciting life. Its by no means a definitive guide, but it
should help a few of you out. Anyway, here goes:

Thakdonalds - A fast food chain started by yours truly, they serve
a variety of delicacies, including the Mooseburger(TM) and the Thak
Happy Meal, which includes a Mooseburger(TM), Javelin, and Bucket o'
Blood to wash it down with, as well as the latest Thak-toy.

Moose - A colloquial term for the "Dalamar", or "Moosey" as he is oft
referred to, the back-story behind it is reasonably long and rich in
Achaean History, involving lots of broken backs, a wise-cracking Ex-
Paladin, and a Deep-fried Gijan.

Mr. Bear - One of Achaea's first perma-loyal animals, Mr. Bear was
one of the more buggy elements of the old devotion ability "mastery"
He had a long and prestigious career, with highlights including the
time he killed Isildur, the time he attacked Sarapis, and his short-
lived part-time job as the posterbear for the Shallamese "Equal Rights
for Bears" movement. Later on in his life, he mastered the ancient
art of the shadow-bears, learning to turn invisible at will, helping
him avoid being captured by mean Bear-sacrificing Paladins, and on
numerous occasions, assisting him in breaking Derek out of the asylum.

Mr. Javi - Mr. Javi dates back to when I was the first mortal on Achaea
to learn the javelin proficiency, and has been known to do up to 2000
damage when sufficiently aggrevated. He was the star of the short-lived
Achaean Freakshow, run to raise money for my lottery addiction, where
he had a passionate affair with one of my longswords. The friction this
created literally tore the longsword community apart, and is rumored
to have been directly responsible for the downgrade of dsl damage.

Basil - Furze's pet Basilisk, he has yet to learn to fetch, but
Furze has hope he will one day learn. After all, Furze is living
proof that *anyone* can be taught to do something constructive with
their life.

Monny - Another victim of the Mastery bug, Monny was Mr. Bear's
faithful off-sider, also attacking Sarapis. He developed a taste
for troll-flesh, and spent much of his later life trying to bite
of my leg. Monny the Monitor lizard, you will be missed.

Monnet - Monny's faithful but long-suffering wife, after his
death, Monnet became a reclusive old lady, periodically emerging
from the Mhojave to deliver her claw-knitted rugs and blankets to
the needy children of ashtan. If there were a few less needy
children after she left, well, a lizard's gotta eat.

Speedy the First - One of the first falcon's to leave the newly
operational hatchery, Speedy fell victim to the falcon hunt bug,
and never returned from an unsuccesful hunt. He will be missed.

Speedy the Second - Also known as "Speedy 2: Cruisy Controly",
Speedy the second was hand-raised on rats, and taught a variety
of important life lessons. The most important would have to have
been "If your attacked by an insane kharon, fly away", but by the
time he mastered that one, it was too late.

Speedy the Third - Speedy the third had a short life, that was
nonetheless filled with joy. He was always such a trusting soul,
and when that newbie druid said he just wanted to play, well,
Speedy believed him.

Speedy the Fourth - arguably Achaea's most famous falcon, Speedy
the fourth pioneered the flying ale delivery business, and assisted
Khejian's falcon, Teddy, in "The Grinch who stole Logosmas" operation
where he stole Logosmas trees from all around Achaea. The first of
the Speedy's to earn the prestigious title of "Warhawk", Speedy the
Fourth met his untimely end at the hands of the wicked Taranis,
under mysterious circumstances.

Speedy the Fifth - Always trying to life up to the larger-than-life
shadow of his predecessor, Speedy the Fifth was a haunted beast, and
started the "Speedy Weedy Delivery Service" in an attempt to conceal
his own addiction. After one particularly trying delivery, his corpse
was found at the base of the Erisian pyramid. His post mortem revealed
that he died of impact damage.

Speedy the Sixth - My current falcon, Speedy the Sixth is everything
you could want in a bird, and more. Many of Achaea's most famous
celebrities have gone out to bat for him, on those occasions he forgot
to fly home to the sanctuary, and he has been known to deliver
everything from ale to weed to herbs to mass salves. He currently
holds the record for "Most weed smoked by a falcon who didn't crash
into the Erisian Pyramid", as well as "Most priests annoyed by
falcon's attacking them in shallam while ratting".

The Achaean Times - A short lived satirical newspaper, began in
public post 5074, that unveiled the truth about many of Achaea's
more famous celebrities, as well as blatantly advertising Thakren
and Skarash's business attempts.

Well gentle Achaeans, thats all I can think of for now, but that
should help you get up to date on your Thak-knowledge. Look for all
new "Thak-Quizzes" appearing on the placemats at Thakdonalds, starting
next week.

Penned by my hand on the 11th of Mayan, in the year 260 AF.