Message from the Editor
Greetings once again, good readers, I know we've all had a busy week,
especially with the auction, and I'm somewhat reluctant to admit that,
despite my boasts leading up to it, I *didn't* manage to get the my
hands on the cheapest item. Nightcrawler managed to underbid me for
the "Cane of the Quickening", and is now going around thwapping people
with it. I did get the second cheapest item though, so next time your
wondering "Whats that strange shape flying towards Shallam? Is it a
bird? Is it an ancient prophetic tablet?" You can rest assured that
its neither of those things, but rather, Super Tro... erm, I mean, me.
I like my Ring of Flying. Now, back to business, I am still very upset
that not a single one of you has contributed an article to my fine
newspaper. I did get a few ideas though, and am currently investigating
reports of the Bovine Messiah, promising to lead the Tomaculan Cows
to the promised land (which appears to bear a remarkable similarity
to the kitchens in Moghedu), and of course, my cousin Derek has
generously offered me access to new, as-yet-unpublished Pirate Stories,
so if you like swashbuckling action, Invisible Bears, and lots of
genuine, certified Pirate Booty (Thats right boys and girls, these
are M rated) make sure to read on. Finally, a brief summary of this
weeks articles, we publish Part 2 of the Butterfly Wars, as well
as my interview with Epicurus's Ex-Fiancee, and "The last voyage of
the BPS "Hibernation", the best known of Derek's voyages.

Feature Article: Epicurus, would *you* let him teach your children?
Now, after my expose on the Morningstar, Averroes has been getting
fewer and fewer students, with many untrusting souls instead going
out of their way to visit Epicurus or Damaris. Thats all well and
good, but being the cautious journalist that I am, I kept my ear to
the ground for information on these two, and what I turned up may
well shock, startle, or otherwise stimulate you.
I won't divulge any information on my sources, but rather simply
publish an unedited transcription of my interview, and let the
evidence speak for itself.
Damaris - What are you doing back here? I told you I'm not talking
to you.
Thakren - Yeah, well, um.... Gotcha nose!
Damaris - I'm honestly supposed to discuss private matters because
of your childish attempt at humour?
Thakren - Oh, no, your supposed to discuss the private matters because
I've got your *private* journal right here, and if you don't, I'll be
forced to publish it next week.
Damaris - *gasp* Your blackmailing me?
Thakren - Of course not. I'm bribing you... no, wait, bribing is where
I pay money... I'm extorting you? Or is it blackmail? I get confused
sometimes. Anyway, I hear you and Epicurus were engaged, what happened?
Damaris - The indignity! I will tell you nothing, for you are no better
than a common criminal.
Thakren - He ran off with one of those foreign floosies he's always
talking about, didn't he?
Damaris - Is that what he told you?
Thakren - He ran off to Shalla-Khulia, and left you stranded at home
with little Epicurus' Junior to support, the lousy ingrate. You can
tell me, I'm on your side.
Damaris - Hah? Shalla-Khulia? Epicurus? Thats absurd. He has yet to
set foot outside of Ashtan. He simply collects souveniers and attempts
to convince his younger and more gullible students that he is a well
travelled man of the world, when in truth, nothing could be further
from the facts.
Thakren - So, wait, Epicurus lies about his travels and shows of his
Hookah's in an attempt to get women?
Damaris - Naturally, *I* would never have fallen for such a pathetic
ploy, but I respected the man, I looked up to him, and I was so
terribly lonely.... you have no idea what its like.
Thakren - I bet I don't, toots, now, onto the important goss, whats
with all that scratching? Has he got a skin disease or something?
Damaris - Why, no, he's simply allergic to pollen. I told him, time
and time again, to move out of that wretched garden, and have a
decent school built, but did he listen to me? Did he *ever* listen
to me?
At this, Damaris suddenly reaches out and grabs the journal from
Thakren's hands, opens it to the first page, and exclaims "What?
this isn't my journal!"
Thakren - Um, heh, well..... gotta go, talk to you again later!
And thus I escaped, sacrificing my journal on the behaviour of
Mooses and Mrs. Mooses during mating season, in exchange for this
incredibly juicy interview. Epicurus is currently answering all
my questions with "No Comment" but I'm hoping to get the Achaean
Times an Exclusive Interview with him for the next Issue.
Till then, good reader.

Stay tuned for Part 2, containing the latest information on the
Butterflies, and of course, The last voyage of the BPS Hibernation

Penned by my hand on the 8th of Chronos, in the year 247 AF.