Lifestyle Section: Interview with a Lumberjack
It has been my privelege to spend many joyful hours frollicing
(what, I'm not allowed to frolic?) amidst the lovely Aalen forst,
at one with nature, and with my friends, the bears. I've often
helped Furze, the misunderstood Lumberjack, to recover his axe,
which he seem to drop in the exact same location each day.
Recently, I decided to find out why, and this is a transcription
of the interview that followed.
Thakren - Hello Furze, lovely evening, isn't it?
Furze - *Grunt*
Thakren - Yes, well, I'm surprised your not in bed yet, actually,
I mean, you know what they say about Lumberjacks
Furze - *Confused Grunt*
Thakren - Y'know, sleep all night and work all day?
Furze - *Generic Grunt*
Thakren - Erm, yes, well, actually, the reason I'm here to talk to
you is your axe.....
Furze - Things come..... drop axe..... you go get axe!
Thakren - Yes, well, actually, I've gotten your axe at least a dozen
times, and I was sort of wondering *why* you kept dropping it in
the same place every day?
Furze - *Confused Grunt* Drop at thing..... pet.... teach him fetch
Thakren - Erm, you drop it at the Basilisk each day to, um, teach
him to play fetch?
Furze - *Angry Grunt* He no want fetch.... he bad thing!
Thakren - Yes, yes, I'm sure he is, maybe you should, I don't know,
hire a professional animal trainer to teach him to fetch for you?
It would probably work out cheaper in the long run, and theres
less chance of losing your axe.
Furze - *Belch* Furze hungry. Furze eat now. You go 'way.
Thakren - Excuse me Furze, just a couple more questions.......?

The transcription ends there, for humanitarian purposes.....
lets just say that any druids who live in the Aalen were still
picking up little Thakren-pieces well into the next week. Still,
if there *are* any professional Basilisk trainers out there, I'm
sure Furze would appreciate if you did what you could to teach his
pet, Basil, how to fetch, sit up, roll over, and of course, play
dead.

Travel Section: Ashtan, Bastion of the North
Ashtan is one of the oldest and most majestic cities in Sapience,
blessed with a rich history, and a wide diversity of citizens.
Still, I'm sure most of you already know that, so I'm going to
focus on the three main facets of Ashtan - The good, the bad, and
the "I'm not allowed to talk about it in detail or I don't get
paid for this review".
The Good: Ashtan is the home of Epicurus, an itchy old teacher
with a pot-belly and a taste for fine home cooking. He's more
than willing to share his meagre teachers salary with anyone
willing to help him out, which makes him alright in my book.
The ratman, Achaea's first "Crazy rat collecting person", also
lives in Ashtan. He'll gladly pay you money to be rid of the
"little buggers", and indeed, employs roughly 30% of Achaea's
inhabitants. Finally, Ashtan has an expansive sewer system,
which has eliminated almost 60% of the uncomfortable odours
that led to it being nicknamed "Trashcan"
The Bad: Ashtan is home to many orphans, few of whom ever get
around to growing up to become citizens. Its high mortality
rate is due, in part, to the fact that Ashtan is the first
stop for the Spawn of the Unnamable Horror, or "Spawny" as
I like to refer to him. Its also the home of a rather.....
unfriendly Dowager who doesn't particularly care for young
lovers.
The "I can't talk about it in detail": Unpleasant Odour
Scarey, intimidating Archons who threaten to withold payment
and many, many freshly piked heads that detract from the ambiance
If you do decide to visit Ashtan, I *urge* you to stop off at
"Halo's Shop of Wares", which contains many fine items forged
by Achaea's greatest forger.... well, second greatest? Third?
Oh c'mon, I'm not that bad! Anyway, spend your money there,
or I'll have to take up journalism *full-time*, and we both
know you don't want that

Thus ends another action packed Issue of the Achaean Times.
The "Butterfly War" saga is still tied up in legal red-tape,
having already been posted on the Hashan Board, but with luck,
it will feature in next Issue, along with the debut of our
"Rumours" section, and hopefully, one or two articles by an
independent contributor.

Penned by my hand on the 22nd of Lupar, in the year 246 AF.