You are all complete idiots. If any of you cared for the written arts a as much as I care about humgii feces then you would stop this sorry excuse for a joke. All of your mockery of literature is a sadistic scar on the face of society, and it makes me want to vomit. Please, do all of Achaea a favour and take it to tells!

Penned by my hand on the 9th of Phaestian, in the year 242 AF.