It has been expressed to me that you want to have a war, so here goes...
My poems are of the Discordian variety...bear with them.

All ad-lib, all the time...On KONA one oh five point seven.

Snarfalism.

Snarf, the beast!
Foul rogue of yeast!
Forge ye thine weapon,
and lead ye thine knaves.

Bring hell and high water,
to knocketh me down.
But when the bets get paid,
It's you who's going to drown!

Okay, I just made that up, and it made no sense. But poetry is like that, eh?

Hijawoooomp.

Hijawoooomp!
Revered Knocker down of smelly parcels.
Knock down this smelly parcel.

Cheese! It's filled with cheese!
Cheese for eating, cheese for communicating,
Cheese for slaying foul villians.

Jijawooooomp!
Brother of Hijawoooomp,
Creator of Cheese

Strike down this parcel,
and don't break you're knees!

Hijawoooooomp!
Jijawooooomp!
AiEEEEEEE!

<curtsey> <turn> <curtsey>
Love,
Kona, the soon-to-be-victor

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Glacian, in the year 241 AF.