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| DEPARTMENT OF QUESTIONABLE ACQUISITIONS |
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I have sold way too many of my assets. All of you are my witnesses and many if you warned me...

This has apparently become everyone else's problem.

After several minutes of careful financial planning, I have
decided the safest solution is to gather a small group of highly
motivated idiots (I'll allow you to self-identify, but don't get angry if I agree) and let them help me buy some stuff back.

Thus was born the Department of Questionable Acquisitions.

The basic strategy is simple:

* Find weird things.
* Decide they are secretly valuable.
* Buy them.
* Become insufferable if we were right.
* Call it "market research" if we were wrong.

Legend cards, talismans, strange currencies, old promotional
items, forgotten collections, rare junk, and anything
introduced with the phrase "hear me out" are all of particular
interest.

I am looking for a few curious, reliable people who enjoy trade,
finding strange things, and bragging about financially illiterate actions.

*Experience is unnecessary.
*Money is unnecessary.
*Responsible judgement is actively discouraged.

You may eventually become dangerously knowledgeable about some
tiny corner of the market nobody else cares about.

- That is more or less the point. -

If one of our terrible ideas makes a fortune, we planned it. If it doesn't, we gathered valuable data. Either way, accounting has been instructed to approve it.

(Accounting does not exist.)

Anyone interested in joining should contact Kutcher for a flyer
containing considerably more information than any reasonable
person requested.

*No resumes.
*No experience necessary.
*No responsible adults.

Serious applicants only.

Obviously.

Kutcher Winterbourne
Department of Questionable Acquisitions

Our Mission Statement: "To make a series of mistakes with funding that should have been spent more responsibly."

Penned by my hand on the 19th of Phaestian, in the year 1011 AF.