Hello yes how are you I hope you are well or at least well enough to go oN AN EPIC QUEST OF EPIC PROPORTIONS. That's how you spell that, right? Where's Aegoth when you need him. Anyway.

I have been working tirelessly toward rescuing Young Tesha, and I have amassed the requested 500 citrus globes, which are currently awaiting pickup. Fortunately, I gathered a few more than 500 in case one or two went bad.

UNFORTUNATELY, the box is being RAIDED by nefarious third party: an evil, spiteful squirrel.

You see, how I learned this was I noticed there was an orange missing, so I started watching, but then I realized the squirrel is quite similar to rocks in that rocks never move while you're watching them. This is when I used my great intelligence to hide behind a tree.

...and I still didn't see anything, so then I gave up and left. BUT! The box is in my grove, and I have a great connection to my grove - one of the gifts that connection gives me is the ability to see what's going on in my grove. And that's when I caught the little bugger.

It snuck into the ransom box and STOLE AN ORANGE. This is completely unacceptable. I have not been able to find the squirrel, so I turn to you all for aid. Please find below details for the bounty.



[The following is detailed information in the format of a standard wanted poster.]

BOUNTY INFORMATION:
WANTED: ALIVE OR ALIVE

TARGET: an evil, spiteful squirrel
[In this part of the post, some space has been taken up by an extraordinarily detailed rendering of a squirrel. The image is near lifelike in quality, and the squirrel is depicted holding an orange. Bright violet arrows with white highlights have been added to point out discerning features of the squirrel, which looks exactly like any other squirrel.]

DISCERNING FEATURES:
-Brown and grey fur, with a ratio of approximately 2 brown furs to 2 grey furs. In some lights the brown furs can appear light brown or dark brown or deep brown or chocolate or mahogany or brownish brown, but don't be fooled, the squirrel we're looking for has brown fur.

-A suspiciously bushy squirrel with a slight bend. This tail is very very fluffy, and it looks like it would be very soft to pet. We must not fall for its trickery. The squirrel definitely uses the tail to lure prey in for easier ambushes. I have not yet seen this, but I suspect it eats small children and the occasional Cyrenian.

-Tiny adorable paws that look like they have little mittens on them but they don't they just have a slightly different colour than the rest of the body. These paws may or may not be rubbed together evilly and/or greedily.

-Alert and on constant vigilance: this squirrel appears to have behavior similar to other squirrels, but this is just a ploy. Other squirrels are constantly scanning for threats; THIS squirrel is constantly scanning for opportunities to rob unsuspecting heroines of the things they need to pay the ransom for their adoring fan.

-Other features: super cute giant teeth, gigantic eyes, occasionally squints, moves sometimes, has legs, has ears.

REWARD:
25 credits OR 625,000 gold OR 10 carrots, depending on how poor I am at the time.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
Please capture the squirrel in a cage. If you interrogate it prior to delivery, please ensure it is still alive and breathing. I need to question it to figure out where the rest of my oranges went, and to find out who it's working for.


Thank you!
Tesha Young

Penned by my hand on the 9th of Phaestian, in the year 978 AF.