Dear Tesha Haters Club,

Thank you for taking what is most certainly the greatest of care of Young Tesha. I am pleased to inform you the requested 500 oranges have been delivered to the ransom box. Please be advised there are extra oranges to offer to those who were kindest to Young Tesha.

When you are ready to release Young Tesha, please reach out to me with a date and time. Please also provide instructions on how to return the membership cards to the Tesha Fan Club; many of my friends have been distraught over their missing membership cards which I can only assume were summoned away by some nefarious ritual.

With love (but not for you),
Tesha Young

Penned by my hand on the 25th of Aeguary, in the year 978 AF.