Dear newsroom workers, I write to you because there seems to be a mix-up between the news for everyone and some people's private letters.

For months now the news delivery people keep bringing me something new to read, but as I begrudgingly do so, all I find is someone's misplaced grumpy letter filled with boring words addressed to people that are not me, about things that are irrelevant to me and I assume most other people too.

Please let the delivery people know that my address is not the right one for this sort of private letters, thank you.

But maybe it is my own mistake, in case that I accidentally subscribed to petty arguing and auto-erotic fanfic monthly, please take me off the list, I am sorry for causing this extra work, I did not mean to sign up for this I swear.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

byeeeee

Penned by my hand on the 20th of Miraman, in the year 940 AF.