Cyrene is an insular city within the mountains. There, winters are hard, and summers are mild. Cyrene has a long history, much of which I don't know. I am not a historian. When I joined Cyrene as a feral wildling, I was told it was a place of exploration, intellectual pursuits, and artistic expression. And while I am not a particularly smart Rajamala, and my paintings make stick figures look like Lord Scarlatti, himself, painted them, I joined because I liked the idea of intellectual pursuits and fine art.

When the blackwave happened, I was too young to know what exactly was going on. The political machinations; the weelings and dealings; the upsets and betrayals all went over my head. All I knew was that Cyrenians, for the most part, stuck together, and we had outside support from people who are allies to this day. While we fought all sorts of beasts that came from the mists, we still found time to play games and create.

What an amazing thing.

In recent times, Cyrene developed the desire to become more prominent on the world stage. This wish manifested itself in efforts to be more proactive when it comes to the defence of Cyrene and its ideals; to sally forth and raid and counterraid, but only in a calculated, controlled way. There was no effort to rally and harness the creative side of Cyrene, what, arguably, Cyrene is most known for. Lady Roselie in public posts 20987 and 21025 took this step, but, seemingly of her own initiative and volition, and only very recently. Don't forget to submit your single entries. Time is running out.

When I was a member of the Shield, I was blind to that aspect, agreeing with the concept that being proactive is far better than being a rug to be walked upon. I still agree with this, but I recognize that being important to the world is far more complex than simply war.

During the World Games, Keorin, the then and current leader of Cyrene, made a major mistake. I haven't heard anyone argue this point. Taking the Occultist class, which Cyrene's then patron was well-known to despise, to participate in the twins tournament with a branded traitor to Cyrene, and to then not even show up to the event is just blunder after blunder. Even if Keorin didn't find any available Cyrenians worthy enough to match with her, there are a plethora of other individuals she could have chosen from that would have raised far fewer eyebrows.

But this is old news and picking at old scabs only creates scars.

I am no longer a citizen of Cyrene. I am sad because of that, and I know I will always be sad. The Cyrene I joined is hardly recognizable from the place it used to be. Three of Cyrene's current senators are from the Shield, including Keorin. Many push and argue that Keorin has done more for Cyrene than any currently active citizen, and demand for anyone to gainsay them. Keorin broke the law, yes, and she has been punished with a warning, same as any citizen who would have broken a similar law. Is this just? Perhaps, but it doesn't feel like it. When more and more, Cyrene ratchets down the road of the bellicose war cry, the better I feel about my decision to leave. When I read posts like public post 21023, 21024, and 21027, I can't help wonder what people have said about me, are saying about me, will say about me after reading this post. Now, it doesn't matter. But, if I were still a citizen? The idea of continuing on in Cyrene defending people who spit such bile about their fellows, who forgive Keorin's blunder after blunder, and who belittle the achievements of their fellows is beyond my ability to forgive.

I don't envy the position Lady Pandora has put Cyrene in. I understand that they must defend their home against enemies. If I were still a citizen, I would be fighting and bleeding by their side. Thinking about my experiences in Cyrene, though, congealing it into a microcosm of here to there, I can't help feeling like the Cyrene I joined would have reacted more creatively.

I am writing this purely for selfish reasons. I needed catharsis, and this is it. Thank you for reading this far, if you've made it to here.

I am done with you, Cyrene. The Cyrene I have in my memories and heart is far better.


Penned by my hand on the 9th of Chronos, in the year 853 AF.