I have a story for you all.. Probably better than the one I shared earlier at North of New Thera.

The story began with me patrolling the wilds....

I was climbing the mountains to the east of Green Lake when I heard Pandora, the Wayward Heir's voice intoning across the world of a boon She would grant upon us mortals if we go meet Her at the crossroad north of New Thera.

My curiosity was piqued. I quickly climbed down the mountain range to go see what She was up to. I hurried along the dusty highway to the west to reach the crossroad of New Thera.

I arrived to find myself joining a huge crowd gathering before Lady Pandora. And Lord Twilight much to my surprise!

Wow!! What a huge crowd!

Everyone gathered from all over the land, some Mhaldorians standing to one side, a handful of Ashtan folks dotting the crowd.. Oh there were several Eleusians present too. I think perhaps a lone Cyrenian somewhere in there. But.. wow, everyone were there! There was even an Aegean Squire among those eager to find out what Pandora wanted.

A boon from a God was so rare.. so enticing.. so.. well, you all have an idea what I meant.

Lord Twilight kept company with Lady Pandora. Surprised and curious to see Him present with the Wayward Heir, I studied Him to see what He had been up to.

With Her voice silencing the crowd, the Wayward Heir told us She wanted stories from us to amuse Her and Lord Twilight. Her words fell upon our ears as we heard that the story teller with the best story would get a boon, courtesy of Lady Pandora. The story teller with the worst story would get a reverse boon.

Reverse boon?

Glances were exchanged.. Silence blanketed the crowd... Only momentarily.

The dreaded reverse boon.. was even rarer than that enticing boon. But all the same, this odd boon was a bad omen of what might happen to the poor, unlucky sap who got that one.

She looked at us expectantly.

Oh! We were supposed to offer our stories up to amuse Them!

A few whispers here and there before a few brave souls looked at the Divine Gods and offered to share stories.

Mind you... She wanted good stories.. True stories at that too.

Five.. I think maybe six.. who was counting anyways? Of us came forward.

Zenui regaled us with a story about how he offered something to Lady Lorielan and ended up being suckered.. I wasn't sure I heard him right. But he obviously had a long, historical service with the now defunct city called Shallam and the Holy Church.

I was a bit uncomfortable standing behind a lot of short folks in this crowd, being tall and all. Accustomed to writing stories on sheafs of paper within the dusty libraries here and there, I figured.. well it wouldn't hurt to share a story right?

The problem? I had stage fright. Odd though there was no stage involved at the crossroad..

Pandora, the Wayward Heir pulled a fast trick on me - pointing to me to come forward to share a story.

Well... my story wasn't elaborate.. A simple Eleusian Librarian about to share a story in front of these people.

What was I thinking?

My story wasn't much. I know I am the Librarian right? But.. I wasn't usually around large crowds sharing stories publicly..

The crowd listened to me sharing my passion for stories and books, having travelled all across the world to find rare treasures to bring home.. Things that were so dang hard to find anywhere! Things that should go to libraries of all the places! Oh and stories...

No one seemed impressed. I thought," Damn.. A very tough crowd.." I quickly hid amidst these folks. My boots quaked.. with me in them. I was so scared!

Then the Lady pointed to Minifie.

Minifie stepped forward with a tale from the depths of the Underworld, brandishing her sword while she told the story. The crowd shifted backward when the point of her sword came very close.. too close to our bodies. I thought I heard her saying something about her corpse being displayed in Lord Kemnast's fortress. Taryius's corpse was mentioned too.

A bloody story indeed!

Profit was right on Minifie's heels with a story of his own. He seemed so sad .. perhaps sorrowful over something in his memories. He told us how two certain guildhalls were broken into to make certain rings to make a profit off. Yes, Profit made a fairly decent profit with his partners in crime.. No harm was involved, he said when he ended his story.

Jonesey was last with a tale to share with us. He told us to wait until he donned his fancy pants. When he realized he already wore his pants so fancy, he forgot about them as someone pointed out to him. Snickers peppered the air at that slight oversight with those fancy pants. Can't claim a wardrobe malfunction in front of a large crowd.

Anyhow..

A tale began with his daddy talking business and amassing wealth beyond our imaginations. How Jonesey grew up being spoiled by his parents. And the goblins were involved in his story. His parents were murdered by one goblin. After his parents' deaths, little Jonesey went on a hellbent mission to destroy goblins' lives everywhere! Oh.. better not tell him about Azdun. There was a nefarious plot whispered among those goblins to hide in the dank caverns there to ambush Jonesey.

Will Jonesey brave Azdun to find those goblins and ruin their fun?

Stay tuned for more on Jonesey's story.

Goblin lives matter.. not.

Eko told us about how she was approached by Lord Aegis when she was busy practicing her sword arts in the barracks. Ah yes, a lesson to be shared, folks. Always check first who you talk to before telling them how creepy they were.

Myna was last of all the story tellers who braved the harsh lights of the stage.. wait.. never mind.. That was the sun.

She told us how she, at a tender age of eighteen, was braving the harsh world. Her mentor took the young woman to Cyrene to buy a tinderbox. Myna was asked what she thought of that small tinderbox. Well, she told her mentor it was gaudy. The truth was revealed that her mentor designed it.

What happened to them in the end? Suspense? Anxious reunion between the two women? Stay tuned to find out the fate of that young woman.

The air felt heavy with silence. The last story teller joined the crowd... Nervous glances were exchanged between all of us as the Gods debated among Themselves.

This tough crowd watched on.... on... and on..

Pandora finally spoke. The crowd leaned forward in dreaded anticipation to find out who had the best story. Or the worst story.

"Danna, your story sucked. No climax."

My brain turned into mush when I heard what the Wayward Heir just said.. Well, those words were not Her exact words, but hey.. the bottom line is.. my story sucked so bad that those Jesters in Delos might laugh at me if they found out their bad jokes were probably better than my story!

I sucked so bad I was killed in front of the crowd who were shouting different things like becoming a banana.. or writing their stories..

Oh that was not bad. What was even worse?

I lost to Jonesey's fancy pants!

In Service To Sucky Stories,
Minister Danna McPheron
Heartwood Historian

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Valnuary, in the year 814 AF.