Dearest Laila,

Had you not decided to use the market channel to continually trumpet
your pathetic taunts as veiled attempts to buy and sell things then I
would not have been forced to bring things to this news board. But here
we are...

Any number of long winded, comical writings denying the facts will
change anything. Your credits and gold are mine now and next time you
should try to use that walnut rattling around inside your skull before
handing them out so eagerly in attempts to have other people do to me
what you yourself would have been slaughtered every time if you had the
guts to even try to do yourself. It's sad to see a serpent, a
Shadowsnake even, have to go to such lengths to have others kill and rob
someone. I thought that was your job, what your kind excel at and take
pride in? Perhaps you should consider a change of house and class
because you are simply a disgrace as far as current choices of both are
concerned. They must keep you around for laughing stock. Every house is
like a village, each one has its local idiot.

I have slaughtered you so many times now Laila that I have lost count,
and I have written accounts of many of these instances to read and take
pleasure in the remembrance of such beautiful moments. The sad fact is
Laila that of the many times you have tried to kill me, you have never
ONCE succeeded, and I have delighted in killing you and piking up your
head to scare children away with its hideous face which I'm sure they at
first mistake for a fresh pile of human fecal matter only to be
unpleasantly suprised when it they realise they are beholding something
that looks and smells far, far worse.

In your post you claim that you outweigh me in combat? Please. I laughed
to tears when I read that. History has proven you wouldn't outweigh a
fly when it comes to combat. Perhaps you should start weighing yourself
against people less in terms of combat and more in terms of weight
because I'm sure you outweigh most dragons when in lesserform.

You even had one of your numerous ex husbands, Denex, come try to save
you one of those glorious times I cut you into pieces with my blade only
to see him slaughtered as well. I do see you have acquired a Veil of the
Libertine recently to cover up your shameful number of failed marriages
though. What is the count up to now? I forget. Six? No matter. I'm sure
it will be higher soon enough. Your current future-ex tried to defend
your honor sadly to be killed by me three times without once succeeding
in avenging you. I'm sure given enough attempts and deaths he will get
lucky. Or he'll just get tired of upholding a lie that you have any
honor to defend and throw in with the rest of Sapience in knowing you
are probably the only thing that Sarapis regrets having created. On the
scale of regret you are probably like that night for most guys when they
get really, really drunk and wake up next to...well...you.

You have failed epicly at doing your own dirty work, and you have
fattened my pockets in your attempts to have others do it.
Congratulations. Please continue on this way Laila. Please? Sadly for a
long time now I haven't had chance to kill you since you long ago
learned facing me in any way leads to your death in the most pathetic
fashion, but at least continue to pay me to drop all of your orders
shrines? Doing all that work just for the pleasure is
well...pleasurable. But to be paid out of your pocket on top of that is
even more pleasurable and amusing to boot.

Ikari
Not needing to make retarded play on words with the date since blah blah
whenever.

Penned by my hand on the 9th of Daedalan, in the year 592 AF.