War!

War, war, war. A big word! Yes, indeed. A word of consequence and
import, weighty with significance. A war has been declared! By some
mighty bastion, perhaps? Has Ashtan roused? Have the pacifists of the
mountainous West poured over their high walls to rain terror down upon
us all? (For respect, they cry! For the right to celebrate our dragon
with wordscrambles, would be their banner!). Surely it must be! Surely
only the doughty may invoke this word, this mightiest of words, this
lexical apotheosis.

Hold! Hold you penners of history and you noters of significance! T'is
only Bluef. Ex-Eleusian, ex-Hashani, ex-Shallamite, ex-Ashtani and
current purveyor of tedium. And damn scriptural expression! For at this
point, were I holding forth verbally, I would fart prodigiously, nay
extravagantly, and waft it in her ridiculous direction. I shall trust to
your imaginations. However, I digress. Let me review my text. Yes! War!

But a war, even one declared by one as flibbertigidinous and trifling as
the delectable Bluef, must - the crowds chant it, I hear them - MUST,
have consequence! Thus! We concede and beg surrender! No, wait! I jest!

Something else occurs in war... ah, I have it! Mercenaries! Mercenaries
and consequence, if only there were some way to combine the two in a
satisfactory confabulation. Allow me a moment.

...

I have it!

Favours and gold for the heads of Bluef and Exain until this mockery is
over! Mail them to Sharbrena and my word will be made good. Let there be
celebrations in my name, and raucous parties in the alleys for this
missive is surely one that will meet with universal acclaim! Kill them!
Kill them all! Kill them over and over and over again! Hound them until
they cry into their cups! Carve their faces and make topiary of their
flesh! Let's show them the meaning of war! (Not literally, of course, I
suspect even Bluef knows the actual definition). Let's show them the
metaphorical meaning of war!

Aiiee, Sharbrena comes to wrest this missive from my hands, lest I
ramble incessantly, you shall not take it from me, you f...

Penned by My hand on the 10th of Miraman, in the year 575 AF.