You seem sincere in your quest for understanding the truth behind the
smoke and mirrors you have come to known as your existence. Once you
hear the truth, you will be unable to permanently hold onto your
precious world-view. The truth will liberate you, and while simple it
may be, few are ready for simple, and fewer ready for liberation. The
truth is like swallowing a sphere of gold that is super heated on the
forge. It gets lodged in the throat and you cannot swallow it, nor can
you easily spit it out. And so it sits, a treasure of immense value that
cannot truly be spoken about, nor given away.

To the point of your questions:
The emptiness that you are feeling is often called disappointment.
Disappointment is a delusional state of being and one of extreme
suffering. You are fortunate that you can raise such questions, and be
willing to receive help and guidance, even from those outside of your
system of beliefs. Many are too prideful to look beyond their world
views and systems of belief for understanding, or due to outward
appearances cannot accept the help of those that look or act differently
from the way they think they look and act.

Here is why you are disappointed and feeling empty: The mind is
conditioned to expect certain responses from behaviors. When a
particular behavioral-response feels good, there is the potential for a
habit formation in attempts to recreate that feeling. Each time that
feeling is sought after, the experience of the feeling is always
followed by a feeling of emptiness, which is motivation to again
recreate the good-feeling.

This viscous cycle is the cause of much suffering. Your expectations
were that there was a great treasure, and your mind had a preconception
of what that meant, since your mind associates treasure with things that
can be measured, such as gold. When what your mind expected was not
there, that good feeling-response that you seek in searching for
treasure did not occur, and your feelings went straight to emptiness.
Realize the feeling of emptiness is always there, you are just now
noticing it because your mind has been entirely focused on the
"feel-good" response and re-creating it. It is due to that emptiness
that you feel that you are constantly in pursuit of the feel-good
response.

You said (paraphrasing): "I believe that such existence is still
something more than the accumulation of wealth and earthly possessions,
its an attempt to achieve something. According to the teachings of my
Lord, we all seek to achieve some goal, and gold is a visible and
measurable form of showing such achievement."

You have been taught these teachings in order to keep your mind busy
with chasing and activity and to keep you pre-occupied from
self-realization. If you were to realize who you truly were, you would
be beyond the influence of mortals and gods. Since it is in the best
interest of a god to have influence and power over his subjects in order
to maintain order and control, they will often send you on tasks, create
belief systems for to believe in and keep you busy, else you may realize
your true nature. By always chasing goals and desiring to "show
achievement", there will always be a depression when one realizes the
achievement is still measureable, and therefore, there must be some
greater achievement one must attain. Only when you have discovered the
treasure that in unsurpassable, the achievement that cannot be stored or
shown will you have anything of real value.


Penned by my hand on the 21st of Lupar, in the year 521 AF.