Dearest Shecks, self-proclaimed Assassination Artist:

An Artist is defined, in part, as the following: "a person whose work
exhibits exceptional skill" or "a person who is expert at trickery or
deceit". Since you clearly do not exhibit the former, I assume that your
title must be in reference to the latter. You are, indeed, an expert in
deceit, unfortunately, you are most suited to deceiving yourself. Your
implication that you have -- or even could -- defeat me in one on one
combat is a joke so laughably exaggerated that it could win the Y500
events.

I would remind of you of the multiple attempts -- and the results of
those attempts -- you have made on my life. You have failed not only at
every turn but have, in fact, taken your failures to a level previously
unexplored by men. You are indeed an Artist in this respect, Shecks, and
I salute you; you maintain your optimistic air of intimidation, you keep
up your appearances and, most of all, you delude yourself to such
extreme levels that you believe yourself qualified to spout the moniker
"Assassination Artist" while in the same breath shamelessly begging
someone, anyone to do your job for you.

Indeed, Shecks, you declare that the fun will be beginning, but I assure
you that it begun long ago, so instead, let us say: Let the fun
continue!

May you conquer many more,
-Ovid

Penned by my hand on the 10th of Phaestian, in the year 499 AF.