Come now, friends. We must not judge the church, Shallam, and esteemed
Bishop Rho so harshly. After all, pyromania is second only to
devotionalism!

Or maybe that was pyromania is second only to puce in the dictionary.
Anyway, there's a D in there somewhere, so the point has been gotten
across.

REGARDLESS, this supposed echo of the "burning times" is not this giant
wishy-washy call of doom that so many are proclaiming it to be. It was
merely a party that the planners forgot to bring proper supplies to, for
the Church is trying to do nothing more than make everyone see the light
through the compassion (note: do not confuse with Compassion, or mix
with alcohol) of confectionary treats! After all, a grand old
marshmellow roasting around the campfire would surely solve all the
world's problems.

Now, you may be wondering, what happened? Why the books of the
Occultists? Because books are not anyone's friends. I can attest to
this, the last book I touched dropped me in a hole full of bat poop and
a tongueless oracle. The Church has seen this, and took precautions to
prevent anyone else from getting dropped into holes by evil (note: do
not confuse with Evil. You're welcome, Mhaldor.), cruel books. Gods know
there could only be worse things down there, like more books!

So the bonfire was set, and all would soon be happy. And sure, Bishop
Rho's choice of words in invitation could have been better picked, but
what better to bring Occultists running than the thought of burning
books? (Small children. But they don't burn well.) But then, tragedy
struck.

Someone forgot the marshmellows. Unfortunate, yes, I know. But sometimes
there's simply nothing to be done, and I will admit, forgetting the
marshmellows can take years, if not decades to forgive. But hopefully
someone will remember next time.

So don't ask yourselves, fellow Achaeans, who will be next. Ask
yourselves, who will be next to forget?


*This public service announcement has been brought to you by the fine
people at Melvin's Mysterious Marshmellow Market, and from People for
Overt Occultist Playfulness (POOP)*

Penned by my hand on the 4th of Glacian, in the year 458 AF.