Well, I'm afraid I might have bad news. Excited with the new headline I
had whipped up after seeing an absolutely amazing Theatre play, I rushed
into my office and yelled, "STOP THE PRESSES!" In restrospection, maybe
I should have chosen my words more carefully, because my staff of six
overpaid and underworked monkeys with a malicious sense of humor knocked
my best printing press to shambles. Unrestructurable shambles. The kind
of shambles that would make a Moghedu mhun demolitionist proud to do to
a Mhaldorian building.

...but that's getting a little off the point. The next eagerly awaited
issue of Armchair Adventures may take a while to come out, but in the
meantime I'm going to continue on telling all about the play that caused
all these issues.


ACTORS AFFECT ACTION, ANAKE ALLUDES AT ANGUISH

"Anake's Mistake", a powerhouse play of epic proportions. A story
literally as old as humanity. A story of death, unlife, killing, killed,
and otherwise lifelessness. That's right, there's a wee bit of death in
this story. I was treated to a special preliminary performance before
the play's opening on the 8th of Scarlatan in the year 430, and I was
not disappointed. In fact, I was impressed.

I laughed. I cried. I made funny noises in inappropriate places. I
regretted eating beans for lunch. I was glued to my seat, and not just
because of any wet emanations caused by an overtaking of fiber. To put
it bluntly, I enjoyed it.

This has to be the first play I've attended that didn't insult my
mother, and that's more than I can say for either certain fish or plays
I didn't direct. And speaking as the director of a brilliant two-day
long sock puppet play, you know that has to be saying something.

Be there, Sapience! It's the historical theatric event of the year! It's
almost as brilliant as I pretend to be! Invite your friends, invite your
enemies, invite your mother-in-law!


-Kuntar "Stop calling me Sally Kissy Pants" Semshan

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Glacian, in the year 429 AF.