I don't know what drives you to believe that the public needs so direly
to know about the STDs of this day and age, what with bug-infested rear
ends and scuttled attempts at using the restroom, but I can assume you
that this kind of news is much better suited in a health book than the
public eye. Most people don't want to hear about them as it is, I find
it hard to believe that glorifying them and making them sound like a fad
health diet.

As for your legal representation, I'll see your charges of copyright
infringment and raise you two counts of libel and slander with my
personal legal representation of Sock And Twine, Attorneys At Law to
defend my right to saying whatever I please.

As for your 'high quality gossip', if you've got little more than
in-depth information of STDs (Scuttlebutt, Touchy Digression) to my STDs
(Secretively Talked-About Delusions) to share with the world, I've
clearly got something you don't.

Alliteration.


-Kuntar "Don't Call Me Sally Kissy Pants" Semshan
Chief Editor of Armchair Adventures
Crack Reporter for Armchair Adventures
Field Reporter for Armchair Adventures
Publisher of Armchair Adventures
Writer for Armchair Adventures
Equal Rights For Socks Advocate

P.S. If you've got a headline you think is something big, run it by me,
we'll see what can come of it.

Penned by my hand on the 17th of Scarlatan, in the year 425 AF.