Dear Spouse,

The joke that the Good Weaver made oh so long ago was done in jest and
good humour, and in no way intended (I hope) as a personal reference to
ME, however this has brought to light your own feelings about my looks!
I'll have you know, that I have a perfectly acceptable appearance in the
aesthetic senses of most cultures of the known world!

However, if you wish to hear a joke, I'll tell you a joke. THIS MARRIAGE
is a joke! A complete sham! The fact that you came out of your marital
lethargy JUST NOW over a joke that was made years ago just shows how you
don't pay any attention to me. How much more am I expected to take from
you? The neglect, the insults, the ritual shavings... when is it going
to end? Not to mention the ENDLESS oil paintings you expect me to make
of you posing with that damnable snow bear... it's too much! My days of
scrubbing your foul socks in the Urubamba (sorry, Lady Kastalia, if any
of Your fish have suffered)... are OVER. I want a public apology, a new
house, and that wedding ring you promised me, you cheap sonofaharpy, or
ELSE.

Oenone ATREIDE

Penned by my hand on the 20th of Daedalan, in the year 417 AF.