Dear Sir

I am sorry to hear of your loss via theft. I certain feel very bad that
you lost items of which you worked so very hard to steal or purchase
using stolen gold. My further condolences to the other people who now
have their missing property in the hands of a different thief.

PS: Is anyone else enjoying the irony of this?

Penned by my hand on the 23rd of Glacian, in the year 400 AF.