Greetings Stressed Ones.


I come to make this post today a more enlightened, thoughtful, and
perhaps smelly man. I have been many places on my meditative travels
through the lands, far into the mountains, deep into the sewers
(probably explains that smell...), and far north into the icy
wastelands. It is in these icy, barren wastelands that I came upon that
which, truly, can be described as the ultimate meditation technique. I
crawled along the tundra for days, my supplies having run out long ago,
leaving me with naught to survive by but that which I could glean off
the land. The land being a barren wasteland with nothing to sustain
sentinent mortal life, I was in pretty bad shape at that point.


My hands exhausted, my wits dulled, and my sanity non-existant, I
continued crawling. Surely I would find something to keep my alive in
the harsh winter environment, surely there would yet be something to
keep me going, through all this hardship I would find the true
meditative meaning!

That didn't happen until the next day, but that's besides the point.


I dragged myself to the top of a hill, assured that I would find that
which I have spent so long searching for, that which would truly reveal
the meaning of it all to me! And there I came upon...a walrus. Stunned,
I went over and sat next to the walrus. Pondering the walrus as he sat
there, staring nobly off into the distance. I wondered how this walrus
could be so deeply meditative, so noble, so strong in such a harsh
environment. I know not for how long I sat there and pondered the
walrus, his strength a beacon of light in the cold, unforgiving tundra.
He then turned slightly and wobbled into the freezing water, to search
for sustenance. At this point I could have been delirious, but someone I
felt that he beckoned me to come with him. And so I jumped in.


In retrospection, I'm positive that I was delirious and that jumping
into the water was a bad idea. Terrible idea.


When the hypothermia wore off and I had miraculously managed to catch a
fish, and ate ravenously. All the while, I contemplated the walrus. I
followed the walrus in his daily life, watching and observing all that
he did. I acted as the walrus, I slept as the walrus, I ate as the
walrus.

I was the walrus.

When I left, an unknown number of years later (two weeks), I felt wiser,
more knowledgable. More at peace with myself.

And thus I leave you with these thoughts to meditate upon, that you too
may become truly wiser and more at peace with yourself.


Be at peace. Always remember your rubber ducky. And ride the walrus.


-Kuntar Semshan, Afeared of Hypothermia.

Penned by my hand on the 15th of Mayan, in the year 398 AF.