Greetings,

I'm posting to public to answer the many questions I have recieved and
to open up and honestly tell everyone what happened. Let me say that
Hurt, Betrayal, hate, and a broken heart can turn even the strongest of
people. Some of what I believed was happening in my life may not have
been but it was the preception that mattered. I believed that I had been
betrayed by people that I cared about some of those people were family
and some were friends that betrayal turned into hate on my part, I
didn't want anything to do with them or their ideals. Add to that the
broken heart from losing the one that you love to a city that you have
faught against all of your life and you have the makings for a disaster.
I fell into a pit of despair and hate. I turned away from my beliefs and
walked away from my Lady, betraying my word to Her and my order, I
walked away from the Church and joined Mhaldor. I horrified those that
called me friend and caused pain to more people then I could ever
imagine.

I received a letter while i was in Mhaldor that in the end asked me if I
would prove wrong what people had said about me that caused me to
believe that I was being betrayed in the first place. I spent a lot of
time thinking I was killed by the Vertani people that I had worked hard
to build a trust with just for being Mhaldorian. I never attacked them
nor would I have ever attacked them. I then went back to Mhaldor where I
was ordered to follow Khoraji as he was going to take a group to go kill
off the Vertani I went and followed him as I was told to do and when we
got to the Vertani in El'jazara I did as ordered and targeted Vertani.
I'm not sure if I ever attacked or not the Vertani attacked me and
managed to kill me yet again I ran. I then asked a friend if she would
take me to Cyrene where I left for awhile when I returned I got ahold of
Someone I trust very much and told Her what a horrible mistake I had
made. I told Her that I knew what I had done was a mistake and that I
wanted to go home. I then told Her that I knew I was hated by many that
had called me their friend for I had betrayed them. Shortly thereafter I
received more tells then I could count from people asking me to come
home and telling me they knew that it was just a mistake and mistakes
can be forgiven. I asked the AP of the Church for a target so that I
could travel to her and Verrucht. I then told Meri what a horrrible
mistake I had made and why I had done it. She and Verrucht spoke to me
for sometime before Lady Tarah showed up to speak with us also. I spoke
with the three of them for awhile before going to my house in Shallam
where I asked my children to meet me. I then told my daughters that I
had put behind me my marriage and I was going to work hard to help them
heal from what I had done to them.

What I really want people to understand is this. When it seems all is
lost don't turn away from your ideals and your family and friends.
Instead turn to them tell them how you are feeling ask them to help you
work through your problems open up your heart and accept the help from
those that would give it. For you in Mhaldor that blindly follow Khoraji
and the other Viceroys look at what they tell you to do look at how you
are treated. You are nothing but a slave in their eyes. They care not
whether you live or die. If any of you have any questions please contact
someone in the church and we will try to help you to turn away from
those that would keep you down instead of building you up.

I have rejoined the fight I faught for all of my life and will do
whatever it takes to help those from Mhaldor turn from their evil ways
and turn towards the light. Should you have any questions please feel
free to send me a tell or a message.

Forever in the Light

Carmell Jaydde-Stormcrow

Penned by my hand on the 22nd of Aeguary, in the year 381 AF.