Seeing as to how I haven't declared myself ruler of a large group of
people and made up silly titles for myself and my co-conspirators,
placed them in a long and rambling post, and generally made waste of a
good thousand soveriegns recently, its time for me to do just that.

I am hereby anouncing the formation of the Holy Church of Striped Socks
(To all those who are thinking it was gonna be Blueberry Pie, all I can
say is GOTCHA!). Anyway, the Church (not to be mistaken with that other
church from Shallam or Cyrene or some such place, which will hereafter
be refered to as "Goober" to avoid confusion and increase the amount of
times I get to say "Goober") is dedicated to three main principles, they
are as vague and as easily twisted to serve any cause of our chosing as
they are holy, they are Mediocrity, Whistling, and The Cheese. As any
further discussion of these items would limit my ability to redefine
them later and increase the chance of them being used against me, just
understand that they are what we say they are and everything we will
ever say or do is completely justified by them. If you're wondering why
I use "The Cheese" instead of just "cheese" when we really don't have
any specific cheese, it is because adding superflous articles to words
and capitalizing them makes them seem more important, and thus even more
holy.

Now then, on to the structure of the church. In sharp contrast to the
authoritarian structure of Goober, we do not believe in a single
Archprelate, we in fact have several, and are quite willing to add more
if you just ask nicely. Our current archprelates are as follows:

Kiet, Archprelate of Delicious Baked Goods and Keeper of the Secret
Button.

Caryn, Archprelate of Striped Socks and Watcher of the Drying Paint

Sarune, Archprelate of Left Handedness and Juggler of the Muffins

Myself, Archprelate of Furry Animals and Overseer of the Most Holy
Bellybutton Ring

Krathanas, Archprelate of Monotonous Singing and Whistler of the Holy
Jingle

Surt, Archprelate of Purple and Stabber of the Sacred Stabbed Goat

Aurtha, Archprelate of Circular Logic and Wielder of the Blessed Paddle

Our duties are both numerous and complex, too much so to be detailed
here or anywhere else. Just assume that if you see us do something, its
our duties, and is therefore sacred. Any who question, interfere with,
or bear accidental witness to these duties will be slain, enemied to the
church, slain again, beaten with the Blessed Paddle and made to wear an
itchy sweater.

-Tiax, Archprelate of Whatever I said I was Archprelate of

Penned by my hand on the 21st of Miraman, in the year 373 AF.