Greetings, Beautiful Sapience!

I come out of my hole today to post of a peculiar situation I seem to be
in. As a few of you know, I'm really old. In fact, I don't know any of
you, and you probably don't want to know me if you don't already, and
even in some cases, you don't want to know me even if you already do!
I'd like to call out to the generation of people 20-50 years younger
than me, at this time, because I have come to a shocking realization,
which I will tell you of within this very next section of text.

Wait, not this one.

Okay, this one. Like I said, I've come to a shocking realization. From
the age of 18, I was a Druid for a long stretch of about 41 years. The
Druids of these days, at least it doesn't seem to me, weren't like the
Druids of those days. Back then, we didn't have a care in the world. No
one really threatened the forests other than people like Tyran, who
massacred us even when we rallied against him, and the only true group
of people fighting were those in Ashtan and Shallam. Not being a part of
those groups, the Druids, well.. We were pretty lax, and we used to have
a great time! In fact, we had such a great time, that I came to such a
realization as I plan to reveal to you very shortly without much delay!

Back in those days, as a Druid, your primary goal was to 1.) Bash
religiously, 2.) Sit in your grove contemplating the meaning of life,
3.) Be a mean old geezer (read: Istavan), and 4.) Party hard. Now the
fourth point is where I came to such a startling realization of my past
that I wish to share with you. I used to party hard, and when I say
party hard, I mean binge on tequila and potatoes for weeks on end while
having drunken orgies (can I say that?) in the forest with other Druids.
Now, here's where I come to my revelation!

As I've just recently returned from being shrubbed for a good 70 or so
years, I had a lot of time to think.. I directly contributed to
generating at least half of the population that makes up the generation
of people 20-50 years younger than me. I'd like, in this post, to call
out to all of you folks within that range, to get with me, so that I can
properly record your lineage which you may or may not have had any
knowledge of until this post, and we can finally be father and son or
daughter.

All that for just one paragraph of still utterly inane content?!, you
stammer!

Yep.


-Malak Aramar

P.S. I'm not saying anyone younger than that is not my child, however. I
am merely stating that in my youth, I did a lot of procreating, and I'd
like to now properly take the responsibility of having so many children.
If you're any age, chances are you might be my child, so send me a
message anyways, and we'll chat about it!

Penned by my hand on the 8th of Ero, in the year 351 AF.