Avast ye!

Many a day have I been 'pon the seas. Garg. Zee pirates are zee original
sea-faring mortal blokes! If ye wantin to explore the seas, ye got to
get through us! Har har. We've already started our ship, and if you DO
try to press this silly exploration, we'll feed you to zee rabid PARROT!
Har har har har. Be advised, matey. Pierats are better than yousn
sailors. Har.

Garr, in yer service

Evantiser, zee man in the crows nest. Garr.

Penned by my hand on the 17th of Scarlatan, in the year 339 AF.